Tangible Memories

 Robyn and I celebrated our 17th year together last Sunday.

And this year's gift might have been the most meaningful I've ever given them.

In 2021, I decided to make a temperature blanket for 2022. Being a dyer, I knew I wanted to use my own colors. I picked 12 of my standard colors and dyed them up on my Familiar base.

I decided to have both the high temperature and low temperature for each day. And if there was snow, rain, or a mix of the two, I added in a third color.

Because I am a sentimental nerd, I had planned on cast on on 219 stitches. 2/19 is our anniversary.

I was so excited to work on this thing.

In fact, the last pic I took before the accident was most of the yarn laid out on my desk, just waiting to start.

I had seen a post on Reddit with someone else's temperature blanket where they made tassels out of the ends instead of weaving them all in. And that's what sold me on the idea.

And then 2022 happened.

I didn't actually get to cast on until Robyn was in rehab. 

I remember hooking the swift and ball winder to the railings of the bed, worried that the squeaking of the swift would bring in the nurses.

I knit on this thing through every therapy appointment. A lot of people asked me what I was working on while I waited on Robyn.

I fell behind as the temperature got warmer. But I had hopes of finishing it in time for the anniversary of the accident.

That didn't end up happening, so instead I decided to gift it to Robyn for our anniversary. So for the entire beginning of 2023, I knit and knit and knit and knit some more, burning through 6 months of temperatures in weeks.

As I neared the end, I started looking for a leather tag to put on the blanket to finish it off. And it needed to say something very specific. A friend, Carrie (Carrie In Color ), was down to help me out and I commissioned the tag from her.

And being the person I am, I couldn't actually wait until the damn thing was completely done to give it to Robyn. A full TWELVE DAYS before our anniversary, I handed Robyn the tag and told them that the blanket was for them.

And they just absolutely broke.

"We fucking made it"

That's what did it. Reading that let them release a whole well of emotions they didn't realize they were holding in. 

 
The knitting itself was completed on February 6th.

The final tally for yarn was 13 skeins.
5,292 yards.
Three whole miles.

You can tie the strands of yarn end to end and stretch from our house to where the accident occurred.

I feel a little lost now, to be honest.

I kept finding myself seeing it raining or snowing and wanting to go note it down for the day.

Robyn really loves it, though. They say it's their favorite thing I've ever made them.

I think that's a pretty good compliment, with seventeen years worth of gifts behind it.

A Year/Six Years/Thirty-One Years And/Of Change

I meant to write this for the one year shop anniversary on July 17th.
But I didn't.

So I thought I'd do it for the blog's six year anniversary.
But I couldn't.

Now it's my 31st birthday. An event that I thought would be celebrated with friends and loved ones. 

But, once again, I'm away from my friends. And with a piece of my heart missing.

I want to stop feeling hopeless and sad. I want to be able to move past this grief. But I don't know how. So I'm just going to write and write and hope you'll forgive my rambling.

I have so much gratitude for all the support and absolute outpouring of love that everyone has shown me. I still can't believe that what started as way to keep my hands busy and the demons quiet grew into all of this.

I have changed so much over this/these year/6 years/31 years. I have learned so much about myself.

I have learned to embrace my demons, to give into my creativity.
I have learned that I am so much stronger and more capable than I ever thought.
I have learned that I am so very blessed to have built a whole community of wonderful, supportive people who have helped keep me afloat.

Thank you all for reading/buying/loving all that I do. Thank you for embracing my creations and your extreme patience as I have stumbled through these growing pains. 

This is one year/six years/thirty-one years.
This is now.

May there be tomorrow. 

Fifteen

Today is Robyn and I's 15 year anniversary.

It was a weird day.

We had plans on spending the day together. They had the vacation time, so they were going to take the day off.

Instead, they spent the day finishing up their last tasks for work because they were let go.

It's been terrifying. I now find myself as sole income for our household. Which means I spent the day sitting at the computer, trying to get a shop update out. To try and sell more yarn. To try and keep us afloat. I ended up with my third headache in two days.

We laid on the couch and cuddled as they clocked out for the last time. They ended up falling asleep on the couch, worn out from the emotional nuclear bomb the last couple months have been. 

I made us dinner. Not anything special like I wanted. But it was good at least.

And now we're sitting at our computers, doing our usual Friday night routines.

They don't know I'm writing this. 

This is actually my first post of 2021.

I hope you don't mind the rambling. Words are hard anymore.

We've reached the point where we've been together for so long that I have trouble remembering things from the beginning of us.

Life has blurred so much of it together.

But what I know is that I love Robyn more now than I did at the beginning.

I love how we've grown together. I love how comfortable we are with each other. I love our easy companionship and wordless understanding. \

And I love how much we still make each other laugh.

Today was a weird day. 

But at least we got through the weird together.

An Eggstraordinary Dozen

Twelve years.

A whole dozen of them. Into the second decade.

It's a long time to have someone in your life. Especially as friend, companion, and lover.

A dozen years means a lot of changing and growing when you get together at such a young age.

It means expanding your world views, discovering who you are as a person.

Not everyone's relationship can survive such reinventions of the individuals involved.

But we have.

We have not only survived, but have thrived.

We have been through the fire and the flood. We have overcome obstacles and challenges that we've never even dreamed of.

We are completely different people than when we started this relationship. Vastly different. Our entire relationship itself has changed.

We're a little older, a little wiser. Way more secure in our individuality.

And somehow, someway, we're still head-over-heels for each other.

We still love waking up next to each other and falling in bed together every night. We can still talk for hours, laughing and carrying on. We're still each others greatest support, cheerleader, and constant companion.

We spent this past Saturday celebrating our anniversary at the Cleveland Art Museum. And in front of the Van Gogh's they have on display, John reaffirmed what I already knew: that he was committed to us and what we've built together. Even through all of our life changes, he was still in love with me.

We're finally at the point in our lives that we feel happy and content with the people we've become. And we want to reaffirm and recommit ourselves to each other, to our new selves.

So, next February, we've decided to throw one hell of a party. Something we're calling a recommitment ceremony.

Not a wedding. Not a vow renewal. Something new and different. Something to celebrate who we are, what our lives have become.

Which means I have one hell of a year of planning and crafting in front of me.

So, happy anniversary, my love. Hope you're ready to bust out the glue sticks and glitter. Because we're in for one hell of a ride.

374 + 374 And a Couple More

As is tradition, I've missed my blog-iversary by several days. *coughnearly2weekscough*

I'm sure you're all fed up with the mushy, lovey-dovey posts, so I guess I'll do what I did last year and do a pure numbers post.

Let's start with pageviews.

My most popular post was A Comedy of Errors, which sits at 428 pageviews.

Of course Orchid Thief would be my most popular post, the disaster that it was. Let's be honest, it's more entertaining when things go wrong, huh?

A couple of other posts made it well over 150 views, another awesome surprise.

I'm averaging more than 50 pageviews on almost every post, another increase.

To date, I've had 9,008 pageviews to the blog itself. I was right around 3k last year.

I've managed to double my view numbers. In a friggin year.

Like, holy crap, people.

It still blows my mind so may people actually care about what I have to say enough to come here and read it. Truly, deeply, thank you for that. I can't even begin to tell you what this blog has meant to me.

Sorry, sorry, I promised no mush.

My goal was to write at least one post a week. I've happy to say that not only did I average that, but I BEAT IT! I've written 61 posts over the past year at the time of writing this.

As for projects, I didn't actually knit as much this year as I did last year.

Hats

• Neon Ski Bonnet
• Obnoxiously Cheerful Hat
• Pussy Hat Project

Sweaters

• Autumn Lace Shrug
• Grandma's Lace Sweater

Miscellaneous

• Mismatched Socks
• String Bean Fingerless Gloves
• Owl Mitts
• Deep Sea FLower Dice Bag

Amigurumi

• Prickly Bulbasaur
• Fallbasaur (I actually have two of these done, plus commissions for 5 more!)

Shawls

• Age of Brass and Steam
• Orchid Thief
• Art and Coffee
• Grey Skies
• Rainshine
• Yarn Wife (My very first completely original design)
• Kelp
• Steam Bells
• Gem In Eyes

I did release my first paid pattern on Ravelry, though. The lace panel I designed for my sweater up there.

Normally, I think I'd be disappointed with myself for not knitting more. But this past year I found my definitive Second Craft. 

I started teaching myself watercolor painting in November of last year. And I think I've devoted almost an equal amount time to it this past year as my yarn and needles. A rough count in my head gives me a rough estimate of 30+ paintings that I've finished this year. And that's not including all of the pendants I've done.

This was my very first attempt, if you remember.

And this is the latest.

And I'm pretty damned proud of that.

Well, I tried hard to avoid it, but we're going to have to get gross for a second. I know, but it'll be okay. Just find a cuddle buddy and we'll get through this together.

Once again, I have to thank each and every one of you who have stopped here and taken time to read one (or several!) of my posts. 

I started this blog on a whim after reading a bunch of Yarn Harlot's archive. I wanted a place to share and talk about my knitting. Ravelry project notes aren't really that great for that. So having a blog, I could really get down to the knitty-gritty of things. *sorrynotsorry*

But this has been so much more than that. 

I've undergone so many life changes. Losses, gains. Through hell and back, through battles, through love. 

And I've been able to share that all here. I've been able to put myself out into the world. I've learned how to more effectively communicate with the people around me. 

Jamie told me once that she loves reading the blog because it allowed her to see a different aspect of me. And until that moment, I didn't really realize how true that is. This blog has given voice to the things that I want to say, but never quite manage to in person. 

Thank you. 

Thank you for your support. Your patronage. Your love.

And here's to the next 374 days.