Dawning

There have been 3 distinct moments on this journey that have triggered my "oh-my-god-this-is-actually-real-holy-shit" reaction: when I got my bank card with the business name on it, seeing my tags hanging on my yarn, and photographing the first project using my yarn.

In my previous post, I introduced you to the 3 colors that I'm starting my repeatable color catalog with. As we got closer to the initial opening date, I had an "oh shit" moment when I realized that I didn't have a sample actually showing said colors. 

It was actually super hard finding a pattern that fit my requirements. I needed something with a lot of lace (since that's what I feel a lot of my yarn is good for), used 3 colors, and could be done relatively quickly. 

There were a LOT of 3 color shawls out there, but most of them were shapes I don't generally like to wear (sorry, asymmetrical triangle fans, but they're not for me) or didn't actually use all 3 colors for the lace parts.

I ended up finding a Boo Knits pattern (Bright Tomorrow) and diving in.

And, HOLY HELL, is it fucking nerve-wracking knitting with something you've dyed. The whole time, all I could think was that it was going to bleed all over my hands, or that I'd damaged the yarn during the dyeing process somehow.

I don't think I breathed until it was done, washed, and on the bed, blocking.

But the results are fucking PHENOMENAL.

LOOK AT IT! 

I DID THAT!

I DYED THAT!

And it's not just a one-off for me!

I can make these same colors again and again and send them out to other yarn friends to enjoy!

I am so dang excited to see others working with these yarns, these colors. Creating their own magic.

We're almost there, my friends. Are you as excited as I am?

Friends

I didn't meet Morgan by pure happenstance early last year.

In fact, it was a deliberate choice on my part.

I remember getting the email from Harps and Thistles about an upcoming trunkshow with Knitcraft and Knittery, their first in the US. And my little heart was all aflutter with the chance to meet them because, duh, new yarn friends!

What I didn't expect was just how important of a person Morgan would end up being in my life.

As we've gotten closer over this last year or so, I've been privileged to see just how incredibly generous and passionate of a person Morgan is, always going out of their way to not only help others, but to fight for and lift up others' voices, too.

Morgan, for me, has been the cheerleader, supporter, and mentor that I never knew I needed.

For the first time in my life, I feel like I have a clear, reachable goal ahead of me (global pandemic aside) and I WILL get there.

None of that would have been possible without Morgan guiding and helping me, with a smile and a "You've got this!"

Last Saturday, we were supposed to go to the Pittsburgh Creative Arts Festival together (which has obviously been cancelled), a rather big thing for me as I am not used to going so far away from home without Robyn.

But with Morgan's reassurance, plus the generous offer to change their own plans to better suit my anxieties, I was excited to go.

I had knit this shawl (Softsweater's Authenticity) to wear, specifically to showcase the new Targhee/Columbia base Morgan's now selling.

I used Sandilocks for the body and Kat-ctus for the edging.

But what Morgan didn't know, was that I was always planning on gifting this to them as a thank you for everything they've done for me.

To be clear, I told them I was doing this right after finishing the damn thing, because I am HORRIBLE at keeping secrets.

But I figured I should show y'all before I pass it on.

So thank you, Morgan, you wonderful, amazing, smart, talented, hilarious, beautiful soul, for everything you've done and are doing.

Love you, bud.

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This Is A Lot

There is just Too Much going on right now to try and write a cohesive post, so it's time to bring back an old favorite... the list post!

1. First and foremost, the world is a terrifying place right now. Coronavirus is in our area and things are looking grim.

They've shut down our schools for the next 3 weeks, which means some of our kids are going to be going hungry because school was the only place they got consistent meals.

People are selfishly hoarding everything, which means that lower income and disabled folks aren't even to get the bare necessities.

And because of fucking capitalism, this virus is going to spread through the masses as we've created a system where missing a single day of work is the difference between surviving and complete ruin for a lot of folks.

I personally am terrified for a few family members who are older and/or immunocompromised.

I can't really do much other than offer to listen if you need someone to unload your anxiety on to, but know that I'm here if that's the case.

2. It's been said a million times in a million other places, but please minimize your contact with others as much as possible. Frequently disinfect communal surfaces. Keep away from family members and loved ones who are more susceptible to illness. AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS!

Seriously, I don't fucking care if you think this is "no big deal" or that "I'll survive it fine." Think about someone other than yourself for once and realize that NOT EVERYONE CAN AND WILL BE OKAY! And do you want to be the one responsible for someone else getting ill AND POTENTIALLY DYING because you can't pull your head out of your own ass?

Do your research. Listen to ACTUAL SCIENTISTS AND DOCTORS. Not your bullshit consipracy-esque facebook memes.

3. Sorry, I'm a wee bit frustrated with Certain People at the moment.

4. Because of the virus, huge events are being cancelled everywhere. This is going to severely impact and hurt a lot of indie dyers, artists, and other content creators who rely on these events to make a living.

So if you can, try to support them as much as you can. Order from online shops, donate money, sign up for folks' Patreons... whatever you can do to help make this time less stressful for others.

5. I was actually supposed to be going to the Pittsburgh Creative Arts Festival next weekend with Morgan, but it's been postponed.

Which means that this shawl that I started last Thursday...

And finished yesterday (a mere week later) with the intention of wearing it to said event...

 Doesn't really have a purpose.

Which means three out of the last four shawls I've made have earned that designation.

Maybe I should stop making shawls for events...

6. We know that isn't actually going to happen.

7. Speaking of Morgan, we've been hanging out a lot and it's been AMAZING.

Mostly because they're just an awesome person and the extrovert writing this has sorely needed some human interaction.

But also because they're teaching me to dye yarn.

Which leads me to...

8. I may actually soon be in a position to sell my own hand dyed yarn, something I've literally dreamed about for YEARS.

Morgan has literally thrown open the door to a path that I never thought I'd get close to. (Seriously, I've cried several times over the last few days because of how grateful I am and how overwhelmingly happy I am that I get to do this. And even saying that isn't really a good description for my current emotions.)

I am SO EXCITED to share the plans and schemes I have soon. I think my fellow lace knitters will be happy in particular.

It'll be awhile before anything is finalized and fully set up, but keep an eye out.

9. And if that wasn't enough excitement, I also GOT ASKED TO BE A GUEST BLOGGER FOR YSOLDA TEAGUE!

Apparently, her and her team loved my giant friggin Orchid Thief and would like to feature it.

I'll share a link when it comes out.

But y'all, WHAT EVEN IS MY LIFE RIGHT NOW?!?!?!?!?!

10. And on top of all that, I'm ALSO working on writing up a worsted version of my Rainbomb pattern with the intent of selling it.

I'm making the sample in all affordable yarns, too, so anyone will be able to make it.

I'm not sure exactly when it will be out, because pattern and testing and such, plus trying to figure out the whole yarn business thing, but I promise it WILL be out sometime this year.

11. Is that still not enough? Because guess what?

I ALSO have found my passion for painting again.

One of my favorite artists released a how-to-ish video for watercolor, making this piece at the end.

View this post on Instagram

HAPPY LITTLE TREES! This is the final product from my most recent art tutorial over on YouTube. I had no idea what it was going to be. Still don't know. NAME THE CREATURE IN THE COMMENTS! #watercolor #colorfulpaint #painting #oddart #creatures #howtoart #creativeinspiration

A post shared by Mary Doodles (@marydoodles) on Mar 1, 2020 at 8:27am PST

And I was so firggin inspired that I whipped out my own paints and made this.

I loved that little creature so much that I also made this.

And I started a new Henry piece.

I feel like I'm waking up and living again. I WANT to make stuff. I'm excited to.

I've missed that.

Of course it has to be while the rest of the world is burning down around me, but I guess I'll take the wins I can.

12. And to round us out (and because it wouldn't be a good post without some yarn porn)...

Why hello, there.

This is Serendipitous Wool's Vajra yarn in Forbidden Forest.

And y'all, I've got SOME PLANS for this.

Which I should probably get to.

So I'll catch up with y'all later and leave you once again with this:

WASH YOUR GODDAMNED HANDS!

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The Little Things

You know how sometimes you get these little ideas that pop up in your head? Just a small, wee thing that you think would be lovely to have.

Like maybe you have some worsted weight yarn just lying about the stash that you think would make a nice shawl... and you think "hmmmmm... maybe if I pick a fingering weight pattern, I'll have a nice cozy shawl that I can wrap up in. It won't be THAT big."

Famous last words, Ashtan.

Some of you may recall when I did my shawl-a-month project back in 2017, I kicked things off with Orchid Thief. And you would have thought I learned my lesson after that turned into a yarn eating monster.

 That was for the first go.

This time?

Yep.

Had five balls in the stash, four were usable, and I had to go out and buy four more. I had to tap in to the 8th ball just for the bind-off, which took THIRTEEN FRIGGIN GRAMS of yarn alone.

And yes, it's a monster. The central spine was 54 inches long while it was blocking.

For context, I'm only 63 inches tall.

Yeah... this thing is a bloody cape.

But you want to know something amazing?

This only cost me $23 in yarn.

The original four balls I got for $2 a piece when Pat Catan's was going out of business.

The other four were $15 total from Michaels because of coupons.

This is just Patons Classic Worsted Wool. Nothing super fancy. But it still looks AMAZING.

I've been thinking of doing a few other shawls with more affordable and accessible yarn options just to show y'all that you don't have to put a bunch of money into a project to make it look good.

And don't give me any crap about how you can't do lace.

You CAN do lace. You just need some confidence and concentration.

As for me, I'm going to curl up in this thing and start my next project.

I'm thinking a nice lace weight, beaded project.

Y'know, just a simple, palette cleanser project.
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Wild and Wooly

Welp, we're most of the way through February and I still don't have a shawl done.

Just like when I knit it before, Orchid Thief is taking a wee bit longer than I anticipated. I'm SO CLOSE to finishing it, but it's gotten so heavy that I have to often take breaks to rest my poor hands.

So in the meantime, why don't I show you some yarn porn instead?

Last weekend, we went to Wild and Wooly in Cleveland. It's a fast and furious one day show with around 30 vendors.

I'd seen that Bewitched Pigments was going to be there and I really wanted a chance to show off my vow renewal shawl to them in person. Which in hindsight, may have been a bit of a mistake. I couldn't walk more than 5 feet without someone wanting to talk to me about it. My throat was killing me from talking for like 2 and a half hours straight.

But I DID get to hand out my new business cards, so that was exciting!

And there was also all the yarn I bought. That was pretty okay, as well.

First off was a skein of sparkly fingering weight from Icemelon's Stash. Observant viewers may notice that I bought this exact same yarn at Great Lakes Fiber Show last year. I thought one would be enough, but I should have known better. So into the shawl stash this goes.

These I fell in love with immediately as soon as I spotted them. And then I saw that the colorway name was Ida McKinley and all hope of restraint was lost.

For those who don't know, Ida McKinley was the wife of President William McKinley and was born very close to my hometown. My grandparents took me and my sisters to the McKinley Library and Museum every summer. These visits helped to form my deep and abiding love of history.

Ida was a prestigious crocheter herself, making an estimated 4,000 pairs of slippers in her lifetime. They actually have a pair of them, along with a project bag and crochet hook, in the collection at the museum. You can see the slippers here.

It seemed that this show, soft ivory with muted colors were the name of the game for me.

I found this AMAZING handspun silk and alpaca blend from Four Square MicroFarm. It feels amaaaaazing.

And you want to know something EVEN COOLER?!

You can watch the batt that this was spun from being made RIGHT HERE!

I only have a wee bit of this and I want to use it for something special, but I'm not quite sure what yet.

My last yarn purchase was from Bewitched Pigments again. Vi actually spotted this colorway and when she showed me that the name was Swamp Witch, I said to hell with the budget and bought it.

I'll probably end up buying a second one sometime because, holy hell, I want to just bury my face in this.

I also picked up an OLIVE FRIGGIN GREEN pompom from their booth. And Vi bought me the rainbow one!

So that was Wild and Wooly, but I'm not done yet.

Oh no, my friends. I have BONUS YARN CONTENT!

The most wonderful and amazing Morgan of Knitcraft & Knittery has released a new yarn base and you know I HAD to get in on that action.

It's a Targhee/Columbia blend and it's WONDERFUL.

I'm actually thinking that it needs to be a hat and that olive green pompom needs to go right on top.

For now, though, it's back to this giant monster.

Maybe I'll be done by the weekend... which is what I've been saying for the last 3 weeks.

*sigh*

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Fancy That

Okay, seriously... I'm bloody done with this weather.

It's not snowy.

It's just grey.

No sun. No blue sky.

Nothing but bleakness as far as you can see.

And it is really hard to find the motivation to go take pictures of a shawl when you know everything is going to end up looking just as dull.

So I finally just threw in the towel, tossed Fancy up against the house, and snapped a few quick pics.

And that's what you'll just have to live with. I'm tired of trying to wait out the weather.

*Technically* this is the Nancy pattern from Boo Knits, but for a whole host of reasons, there was no bloody way I was calling this shawl that name.

So, it became Fancy.

Which is a bit of a laugh because fancy this shawl is not.

It's rather understated.

A plain body, simple lace, minimal beading.

Plus it's a DK weight (TIG Springvale DK in Heartbreak Hotel) rather than my usual fingering weight shawls, which means it's a little heavier.

I used plain silver beads because I didn't want anything super shiny.

In the end, I came out with a serviceable piece that can easily be used as shawl or scarf.

And if I'm honest, I'm glad I decided to give it to my spouse since that means I can occasionally wear it, too.

As for my next project, I may have something rather familiar on my needles.

But you'll just have to wait to see that one.
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The Point of Pointless

In the frantic haze leading up to the vow renewal, I was dealing with near-constant sheer panic and decided that the only thing to do was stress cast-on a new shawl.

And no, I'm not talking about the one from this post.

I mean I went stash diving, found a completely different pattern, and had at it.

I really wanted to have it done by the end of the year, just as a last hurrah.

So I did it.

Finished it yesterday, in fact.

And as I was blocking it out, I stood back and felt... confused.

And vaguely disappointed.

I didn't understand this shawl.

Not how it came together. That was easy.

But what was the point of this shawl?

I didn't have an event to wear it to.

I didn't have an outfit in mind for it.

It wasn't a pattern that I had been dying to try or yarn that I was itching to play with.

Sure, I had an arbitrary deadline, but it wasn't something I was super committed to.

It was, for me, a pointless exercise compared to my usual methods of creation.

I just needed something to make, so I made.

Sitting down to write this all out, it occurs to me that maybe pointlessness was the point.

For once, it was the act of creation, not the finished object, that I needed.

So what am I going to do with it now? Well, I happily let it go into the arms of my spouse, who fell in love with it as I was knitting it. They didn't know I was giving it to them and the smile they had when I handed it over made my heart melt.

And you know what? That was a pretty good way to end the year.
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A Long Road

I seemed to blink and suddenly the event we'd been planning for over 2 and a half years is over.

I'll be posting about the whole thing soon, but for now let's get to what you really care about: the shawl.

Y'all know how long it took me to actually decide on a pattern. I went through every different option for shawls on ravelry (not to mention trying to design my own) before ultimately deciding on... the very first pattern that I picked out at the start.

Despite the odd name, the center of this shawl just screamed "snowflake" to me.

Adding in the picot bind-off was just a bonus that sealed the deal.

The color was the perfect deep emerald green that is exactly what I had envisioned when I was planning our color scheme.

It is proving a little impossible to photograph, so you'll just have to use your imagination a bit.

Or, y'know, just go buy yourself some.

Shoutout to Mikayla and Caitlin for basically strong arming me into buying this yarn instead of letting me continue to fret and change my mind a billion more times.

My whole ensemble made me feel like some ethereal fae being.

I can't even put into words how incredible I felt.

We won't talk about the amount of sweat going on with all these layers, though...

We also won't discuss the fact that I put in FIFTEEN HUNDRED BLOODY BEADS INTO THIS THING!

Because why do something easy when I can be Extra As Fuck?

Let's be honest, it wouldn't have been a properly Ashtan-ed shawl without the beads.

And the dramatic poses.

Okay, I've prattled on enough about literally the best thing I've ever made, so I'll leave you off with one more glamour shot.

Have a happy holidays, y'all.

If you want to get me something nice, my Kofi and PayPal Links are below.

<3

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Like my writing? You can help support me and future writing projects directly by donating through the links below!

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