Struggle

This month has kicked my ass. Hard.

I've only managed to get two blog posts done.

I've barely done any knitting, or painting, or much of anything.

Today has been the hardest, mentally, because an emotional scar got ripped open. And I was not in the best place to deal with it.

Right now I feel raw. Stripped to the bone.

So forgive me, but this is just going to be a short list post. I need to get my butt back in gear and put the effort back into this that it deserves.

1. I did manage to get a shawl done for August, but I haven't had the energy to write the post. But here's a little preview.

2. Jamie and I have been together for a year now. And this deserves so much more fanfare. But again, I haven't had the energy.

3. I finally managed to give Bethany birthday presents on time for the first time in about 5 years. She got a painting and a little knit cactus.

4. Al started high school. This is still terrifying.

5. Great Trail time is upon us again, and of course, I made my way to the spinning house and picked this up.

6. I FINALLY made myself some fingerless gloves after making some for like everyone else. I should have used different yarn and moved the owl pattern over a few stitches, but I was frantically trying to get them done to wear at Great Trail. And I'm glad, because it was effing cold.

Yarn is some random alpaca blend that I actually bought at Trail a few years ago.

7. I saw this at Joann's and need somebody to buy it for me as a birthday present.

8. And we found this guy shoved into the ivy in the floral department at Pat Catan's. I couldn't say no. It was too cute. So he's living in my library now.

9. Yes. I have a library. Yes, it's as awesome as you think. Yes, there will be a blog post about it in the future. But there are a couple of key components I'm waiting on before it's truly done.

10. Renee found this notebook for me and it's pretty much the best thing ever.

11. I harvested a bunch of herbs and now my hallway looks delightful.

12. This guy's pretty cute.

13. Ending on cat pictures because internet.

Total Eclipse of the Art

Yes, I went there. I made that joke. And I regret nothing.

Because what's better than spending the entire day outside, watching the eclipse, and painting something amazing?

That's exactly what I did.

Here's like the one super crappy picture I have of the whole thing.

The painting, however, came out marvelous.

Here's another shot with the colors a little bit more accurate, though it is still much more vibrant in person.

It was an amazing experience getting to sit out there, seeing something so strange and wonderful, all the while making a beautiful thing. I'm already counting down the years until the next one. Maybe we'll make that one an art party. Sounds fun, yeah?

A Moment, If You Please

By now, most of you are aware of the horrific events that occurred over the weekend in Virginia.

To say that I condemn the violence is an understatement. Any rational person should. But as we've seen, we're not dealing with rational people.

I could spend countless hours trying to even begin to describe the horrors, hate, and violence that people of color face in this country. But those are not my stories to tell. They need to be heard from the people who have actually experienced it.

What I AM going to do, though, is shut the fuck up for a moment.

Because we've failed hard, white people. We've talked over, trivialized, and blatantly ignored what people of color have been warning us about for literal decades.

We allowed an atmosphere of hate, intolerance, and violence to breed in our country. We've done nothing to stop it. In fact, we've advanced it.

Because we were frightened. Because we didn't care enough. Because we didn't want to rock the boat. Because that doesn't happen in my neighborhood. It's always somewhere else that has to deal with that.

And look what happened.

THERE ARE LITERALLY NAZIS, KLANSMEN, AND WHITE SUPREMACISTS MARCHING OPENLY IN OUR STREETS!

Not in hoods to protect their identities. Not gathering in the darkest corners of the internet, only breeding their hate amongst themselves.

No, they're walking openly, without fear, without reproach, all across this country.

This is no longer just a sordid stain in our history books of yesteryear. Some horrendous tale that you learn about in school.

This is 2017.

This needs to stop. But that isn't going to be accomplished if we white people continue to sit around with our heads up our own collective asses, hoping really hard that the problems will just go away.

It's time to stop pretending that we're above it all and actually listen to what the PEOPLE ACTUALLY MARGINALIZED have to say.

So, I'm here and I'm listening.

Tell me what I can do to help. Educate me. Please help me to understand so I can do better going forward.

And I'll do my best to use what privileges I have to advance your cause and fight for true equality in this world.

"You don’t make progress by standing on the sidelines, whimpering and complaining. You make progress by implementing ideas." 
- Shirley Chisholm, First Elected Black Congresswoman