The Point of Pointless

In the frantic haze leading up to the vow renewal, I was dealing with near-constant sheer panic and decided that the only thing to do was stress cast-on a new shawl.

And no, I'm not talking about the one from this post.

I mean I went stash diving, found a completely different pattern, and had at it.

I really wanted to have it done by the end of the year, just as a last hurrah.

So I did it.

Finished it yesterday, in fact.

And as I was blocking it out, I stood back and felt... confused.

And vaguely disappointed.

I didn't understand this shawl.

Not how it came together. That was easy.

But what was the point of this shawl?

I didn't have an event to wear it to.

I didn't have an outfit in mind for it.

It wasn't a pattern that I had been dying to try or yarn that I was itching to play with.

Sure, I had an arbitrary deadline, but it wasn't something I was super committed to.

It was, for me, a pointless exercise compared to my usual methods of creation.

I just needed something to make, so I made.

Sitting down to write this all out, it occurs to me that maybe pointlessness was the point.

For once, it was the act of creation, not the finished object, that I needed.

So what am I going to do with it now? Well, I happily let it go into the arms of my spouse, who fell in love with it as I was knitting it. They didn't know I was giving it to them and the smile they had when I handed it over made my heart melt.

And you know what? That was a pretty good way to end the year.
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A Long Road

I seemed to blink and suddenly the event we'd been planning for over 2 and a half years is over.

I'll be posting about the whole thing soon, but for now let's get to what you really care about: the shawl.

Y'all know how long it took me to actually decide on a pattern. I went through every different option for shawls on ravelry (not to mention trying to design my own) before ultimately deciding on... the very first pattern that I picked out at the start.

Despite the odd name, the center of this shawl just screamed "snowflake" to me.

Adding in the picot bind-off was just a bonus that sealed the deal.

The color was the perfect deep emerald green that is exactly what I had envisioned when I was planning our color scheme.

It is proving a little impossible to photograph, so you'll just have to use your imagination a bit.

Or, y'know, just go buy yourself some.

Shoutout to Mikayla and Caitlin for basically strong arming me into buying this yarn instead of letting me continue to fret and change my mind a billion more times.

My whole ensemble made me feel like some ethereal fae being.

I can't even put into words how incredible I felt.

We won't talk about the amount of sweat going on with all these layers, though...

We also won't discuss the fact that I put in FIFTEEN HUNDRED BLOODY BEADS INTO THIS THING!

Because why do something easy when I can be Extra As Fuck?

Let's be honest, it wouldn't have been a properly Ashtan-ed shawl without the beads.

And the dramatic poses.

Okay, I've prattled on enough about literally the best thing I've ever made, so I'll leave you off with one more glamour shot.

Have a happy holidays, y'all.

If you want to get me something nice, my Kofi and PayPal Links are below.

<3

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A Quiet Pause

This is it.

The last breath before the chaos.

I'm sitting here in the library, curled up on the loveseat, with Bee at my side.

Cozy in my Gryffindor sweater, I'm drinking tea sweetened with honey I helped harvest.

It's snowing.

It's so quiet.

Watching the snow swirl through the light from the street lamps is mesmerizing and so utterly calming.

I feel the tension that has been strung through me for weeks start to loosen and fade.

I can breathe again.

All will be well.

The Final Countdown

Welp, we're down to just a mere 8 days before the vow renewal.

And I am FREAKING THE FUCK OUT.

I feel like I have nothing under control, despite making checklist after checklist

I haven't even finished writing the damn thing.

Yep, that's right!

I haven't even finished like THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THIS WHOLE THING!

*sigh*

So instead of working things like I should be doing...

I started a new shawl.

Panic knitting is clearly the answer here, right?

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Like my writing? You can help support me and future writing projects directly by donating through the links below!

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