Great Expectations

There's a time after finishing a big project that feels like a giant black hole of feelings. Pride because you just finished something awesome. Sadness that the project is done. Anxiety because your brain hasn't caught up to the fact that no, you don't have another deadline to meet at the moment. And the urge to dive straight into the next Big Thing.

I had fully intended to do another year long project with monthly goals. It was going to be focused on repaying favors to people. I had my list of projects and was thinking about starting it, but... I just don't want to.

I know, I know. It seems selfish. Why can't I just do what I said I was going to? You're a terrible person... and so on.

But I am so burned out.

Exhausted.

The Twelve Shawls project nearly did me in mentally. And physically at some points.

And I can't get my brain back into the headspace of being able to take time on projects.

Trying to do another year long thing is just going to reinforce that mindset of "OMG HAVE TO HAVE IT DONE NOW!" And I don't want that. I want to be able to relax a bit and not have such stringent deadlines.

So, I'm taking the year off from my Big Things. I'm going to make what I want when I want to. And take as much time as I need to.

Sure, there are definitely things that I plan on accomplishing this year. Including a very special shawl for a very special party. (You'll have to wait until next month to find out!)

But for now...

... For now I'm going to kick back and just enjoying some mindless, slow, easy knitting. Take my time and savor it.

After all, it's all about the journey, right?