Sprouting

Spring always seems to be the time of year that I struggle the most creatively. We're usually so busy with so many different things that I feel like I can't even sit for 5 minutes and get my head together.

It's been especially bad this year, after the hellacious winter we suffered.

I've been drifting from project to project, not really finding satisfaction in anything.

Lunar Phase has been put into the basket I affectionately refer to as "The Coffin"...

Meaning that the likelihood of it seeing the light of day before the end of this century is pretty much nill.

And Elder Tree followed soon behind.

Mojito still has a pulse since I plan on wearing it to my class reunion next month. But it's been a battle to even work through it.

So I gave myself a week off, especially since I had something going on literally every day this past week.

Instead, I worked on a couple of dice bags for my D&D group.

And you know what?

It felt really good.

Like really, really good.

I also took the time to reorganize and fold all of my shawls, trying each on as I went. And that caused ALL THE FEELINGS!

I'm actually wanting to work again. Actually wanting to knit. And it feels so nice to have that spark again. That little seedling of creativity growing, sprouting, shoving its way out.

So, if you'll excuse me, I have some things to knit.

Lying, Cheating, Cold Deadbeating, Two-Timing, Double Dealing Mean Mistreating Wanderin' Heart

What? What's this that I'm working on?

No, it's not Lunar Phase.

Yes, I know. I'm a no-good, dirty, lying, cheating scoundrel. You're completely right.

I should be powering through and finishing Lunar Phase. But frankly, I just don't want to.

I saw what the finished wrap was going to look like... and I will never wear it. It's not my style in any way, shape, or form. I actually would probably hate it so much that it would never see the light of day. And that's really not fair to the gorgeous yarn.

But I like the aesthetic of it. The stripey-ness is quite charming. If that's all the shawl were, I'd probably like it more. So, I'm going to Ashtan it. I'll end up with a half-circle shawl that still pays homage to the original design.

But it's miles and miles and miles of just straight knitting with nary a yarn over or decrease in sight.

How am I supposed to survive that?!

So, we have my side chick of a shawl here. Just enough to tempt me and tease me and give me all the lacy yarn overs and decreases that Lunar Phase cannot.

A respite, the wool equivalent of a long soak in the tub.

Lunar Phase is still a beautiful thing and fulfilling a need in my life. But I'm a person of varied tastes and interests. I need more than just the same dish every night.

Does this make me polyyarnorous?

The Lyfe and Tymes of Thou Fairest Writer

Do you know how hard it is to maintain a crafting blog when the ONLY PROJECT you're working on has to be kept secret?

This is all I can really offer without spoiling things.

Like, what can I even write about? I haven't really purchased any new yarn (except for an extra skein of my night sky color for the MKAL because I thought I might be short), haven't really gone out and done anything fun. And I've already written enough about my mental health to fill a novel.

All I really have to offer are selfies, a couple of sketches I've done, and some cat pictures.

I've been wearing my Rios Lace Tam practically everywhere and have been having fun sticking various pins into the brim.

I got a really cool new galaxy dress.

And I did a kickass job on my makeup the first time I wore it out.

Like, I actually got a bunch of compliments, which never really happens.

I bought a couple of new mugs.

I'm hoping that if I buy them one at a time, John won't realize that I'm hoarding collecting them.

I also bought one for Al to throw off his suspicions more.

Speaking of Al, she did this watercolor piece and I'm SUPER EFFING PROUD OF HER!

Watercolor is not her usual medium, so it's been great seeing her branch out and try new things.

It's STILL snowing here.

I, as the Queen of Winter, apologize for this gross oversight. But unfortunately, you humans have done screwed things up enough that we're not really in control anymore...

HOW ABOUT THEM SKETCHES?!

I'm participating in the 100 Days project.

Every day for *shocker* 100 days, I'm supposed to draw/sketch/paint a little something.

I have no set theme unlike some other artists. Just been sketching whatever strikes my fancy.

Here are the first 3 days.

HAD to start things off with a tribute to my Muse.

Second was a new style of cactus that I haven't attempted before.

Third was my usual and favorite lil prickly babe.

I guess all that's left now is a flood of cat pics.

That last one is just for you, John. ;D

Guess it's back to this Secret Project of Secretness...

*sigh*

Much Ado About Nothing

Since I really have just been doing a mishmash of things waiting for the Lunar Phase MKAL to start, I figured a list post will get y'all up to speed about my current crafty happenings.

1. My goal was to finish Mystic Star before the end of the month.

2. There's no way that's actually happening. Because I thought I was going to run out of yarn, so I bought more. Annnnnd now I have enough to Ashtan it.

3. Doing said Ashtaning required designing an extra chart, which is Ashtaning it so hard that I think I've reached a new plane of existence.

4. I also got the yarn to do my ceremony shawl. Went with Knit Pick's Gloss Fingering in Jade.

5. I'm still waffling on patterns, but I think I may have narrowed it down to the final few.

4. Those will probably change again in a month.

6. I actually did a bit of non-knitting crafting and rebound this copy of Peter Pan for Bethany.

7. No, I didn't realize that John was creeping in the background.

8. I ALSO did some cross stitching.

9. Yes, I designed the pattern myself.

10. This surprises none of you.

11. John got crafty himself and made me a Mustard the Wonder Llama.

12. I've been indulging in coffee nearly every day since I caught a bloody cold.

13. Drinking said coffee out of the body of an Elder God is probably the reason why I felt better so fast.

14. I CAN FINALLY PLAY SUBNAUTICA AND THIS IS MY CUDDLEFISH AND HE'S THE GREATEST THING EVER.

15. I started a Flower Market shawl, but was bored quickly with it. It's currently in time out.

16. I freaked out about not having anything done for show and tell at the next pj party, so I knit this in less than 12 hours.

17. Said hat is the greatest thing ever and I am amazed at how friggin cute I feel while wearing it.

18. The Hat Feels led to an overindulgent amount of selfies.

19. Turns out that there was no need to freak out about not having anything for the pj party because Steph and Mikayla won't be going, so I'm skipping, too.

20. I finally picked the last yarn for the Lunar Phase MKAL just a few before the first clue was released.

21. I did the Ashtan thing and added beads to the pattern. 

22. That's probably the only photo you'll see until the end of the MKAL because SPOILERS, SWEETIE!

23. That's actually my second start of the pattern. I had to drop down a needle size because I knit so danged loose.

24. And because I have no self control, I knit 130 rows in 2 days. 

25. Yes, that was a stupid decision.

26. No, I can't feel my hands and that's why I'm writing this instead of knitting more.

27. This is a ridiculously long post and I should probably end it here.

28. Well, okay, I'll at least leave you with some Internet Tax.

29. Confession: I mostly stuck that there because it cracks John up every time he sees it.

30. Okay, goodbye for realsies this time. I'll try to find some more creative stuff to do to keep you from languishing with no content while I finish Lunar Phase. Assuming that my hands will remember how to work again.

Depression: A Series of Photos

Today is another bad day.

I borked my shoulder and wrist by coloring three people's hair yesterday, including my own.

And I woke up with one of the hardest hitting depressions I've had in a while, coupled with a heaping dose of anxiety and dread.

I have only made it out of bed long enough to use the bathroom. Anxiety sent me running right back upstairs as soon as I was done.

I want to just sink into the peacful temporary oblivion of sleep. I want to force myself up and into a craft project. I want to knit. I want to weep.

I took pictures.

It's not enough to get me out of bed. Or to lessen the feelings. But maybe they won't last as long now.Maybe just a little flicker of light against the overwhelming darkness.