My rude awakening came in the form of the invitation for my 10 year high school reunion.
I get it. I'm only 27, going to be 28. Not really world weary or jaded by decades and decades of harsh reality. But I still can't help but feel a little (okay A LOT) disappointed in myself.
My life wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be a college grad by this point with a stable career, a few kids, and a wonderful spouse. I've managed one of those things. One of the others is unlikely and the remaining is impossible.
I guess there also comes another point in your life where you have to realize that childhood ambitions and dreams usually don't mean a whole hell of a lot. And you should be thankful for what you have managed to accomplish, especially if it's at least made you happy.
I am a crafting goddess among mortals, at least according to my friends. I am- at least I feel like- an accomplished lace knitter and semi-decent watercolor painter. I have many other crafts I can claim skills in.
I have a spouse, and a partner, both of whom love me very much and support me in my artistic endeavors.
A child that, while she isn't mine, I am still caring for and enjoying watching her grow up.
We have a home, a family made of blood relations and the dearest of friends, and an abundance of love.
For the first time in my life, I am feeling the most stable mentally that I ever have. I have mostly cut the toxic people out of my life which has led to an improvement of my self-esteem. I have actually managed to feel confident and beautiful.
I wonder just how many of those people that my brain tells me are better than me can claim such richness?
Anyway, the point of this post isn't about me reflecting on my life. It's supposed to show off the shawl I knit to wear to this damn thing.
Say hello to Mojito.
Knit with just a little over half a skein (I think, and I won't be arsed to go upstairs and check) of Anzula's Wash my Lace in Storm.
She definitely gave me a wee bit of trouble. There's a glaring mistake in the middle of the pattern that I'm sure some of the knitterly among you have noticed, but I wasn't about to rip out and redo this blasted thing.
And don't even get me started on the fact that this took me TEN BLOODY HOURS to bind off. PLUS two hours just for blocking!
My poor hands still haven't recovered. Especially because I was a fool who decided to do a bunch of heavy yard work the day after...
There are just under 900 beads in the pattern, though I'm not sure exactly how many I used myself. I skipped some of them because I was just so fucking tired of messing with them I thought that what I had done was enough.
There are actually two different types of beads in here because I knew I wouldn't have enough to do it all with what I had in my stash. I figured that I would be able to find a similar bead to what I already had.
HA!
Who knew that a size 6 silver lined, white bead with a frosted iridescent finish would be so damned hard to find?
What I found was close enough, thankfully.
It's a little bit shorter than what I normally like in my shawls, and I definitely would have had enough yarn to do another repeat, but I was ready to move on.
"Move on" is really how I could describe this whole thing. I was happy enough to start it, but it ended up becoming a drag by the end. I just wanted it done.
Which just goes to show that I usually eat my words because I friggin ADORE how it came out. AND it looks really good with the dress I'm planning on wearing to the reunion.
So watch out, my fellow classmates of '08...
I'm coming as this new me. The unabashed, wild-haired, tattooed, creative force of nature that I've become in the 10 years since we've seen each other.
Hope you're prepared.
No comments:
Post a Comment