Dawning

There have been 3 distinct moments on this journey that have triggered my "oh-my-god-this-is-actually-real-holy-shit" reaction: when I got my bank card with the business name on it, seeing my tags hanging on my yarn, and photographing the first project using my yarn.

In my previous post, I introduced you to the 3 colors that I'm starting my repeatable color catalog with. As we got closer to the initial opening date, I had an "oh shit" moment when I realized that I didn't have a sample actually showing said colors. 

It was actually super hard finding a pattern that fit my requirements. I needed something with a lot of lace (since that's what I feel a lot of my yarn is good for), used 3 colors, and could be done relatively quickly. 

There were a LOT of 3 color shawls out there, but most of them were shapes I don't generally like to wear (sorry, asymmetrical triangle fans, but they're not for me) or didn't actually use all 3 colors for the lace parts.

I ended up finding a Boo Knits pattern (Bright Tomorrow) and diving in.

And, HOLY HELL, is it fucking nerve-wracking knitting with something you've dyed. The whole time, all I could think was that it was going to bleed all over my hands, or that I'd damaged the yarn during the dyeing process somehow.

I don't think I breathed until it was done, washed, and on the bed, blocking.

But the results are fucking PHENOMENAL.

LOOK AT IT! 

I DID THAT!

I DYED THAT!

And it's not just a one-off for me!

I can make these same colors again and again and send them out to other yarn friends to enjoy!

I am so dang excited to see others working with these yarns, these colors. Creating their own magic.

We're almost there, my friends. Are you as excited as I am?

I Dropped a Bomb on Me, Baby

After finishing Renee's sweater last month, I found myself with a little time to play around with whatever my little heart desired. My yarn for my ceremony shawl hadn't come in yet, and an idea pop into my head that needed addressing.

Unsurprisingly, I have a LOT of scrap yarn, leftovers from all the shawls I've made over the years. And I've never really done anything with them.

Sure, there's always the usual scrap blankets that folks make, but that didn't appeal much to me. And just doing a shawl where I just with one color of scrap until it ran out, then moving on to the next color sounded like torture.

My original idea was to do two different scrap colors at once, alternating every two rows, to give it a more cohesive look.

So, I happily trotted up to my giant scrap basket and started pulling things out.

And, like pretty much everything ever, plans got tossed out the window.

I came back with 2 balls of Knit Pick's Bare that I had originally bought for a different pattern that never came to fruition and an entire rainbow's worth of fingering weight scraps.

And with only a vague idea of what I thought it might look like when it was done, I just started knitting.

A month and over 1200 yards of yarn later, this was what I had in my hands.

I gave it the affectionate name of Rainbomb because of how absolutely absurdly big it came out.

I didn't even realize until after I had bound off and really took a look at it.

120 inches, in case you were wondering.

Ten. Bloody. Feet.

HOW DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?!

Anyway, this shawl wasn't made so much as evolved. I had originally started out with wanting to do 5 rows of each color, but after the first set of red, I didn't think I'd have enough yarn. I was *slightly* worried that it wouldn't be a very big shawl... I know, I know. But I really did worry!

I also ended up changing a lot of the colors I had originally picked out as I spent more time with this shawl.

This was my original lineup of 14 colors.

At the end, I ended up with 17 colors.

Which meant I had 38 ends to weave in.

Yeah, it sucked hard.

But I can't argue with the results.

As for the edging, this is where that gorgeous grey from Knitcraft and Knittery came into play.

I wanted the edging to look like lightning and rain drops. I'm pretty dang happy with how it came out, especially for just kind of throwing some shit into Stitch Fiddle and hoping it came out okay.

Yep, no test knitting for this thing. It was slapped into a project with nearly 500 stitches a row and praying to Henry that it worked because ripping out and redoing all those stitches would have put this project in the burn pile.

The edge pattern was actually supposed to be double this length, but I was just done with this damn thing. As much as I love and adore it, it was definitely getting to the point of being a drag. ESPECIALLY because I just HAD to go and add beads to the bloody thing.

But all that said and done...

...I'm thrilled with the new addition to my collection.

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I Need a Drink

There comes a point in your life when you have to face the truth: you aren't magically aging backwards.

My rude awakening came in the form of the invitation for my 10 year high school reunion.

I get it. I'm only 27, going to be 28. Not really world weary or jaded by decades and decades of harsh reality. But I still can't help but feel a little (okay A LOT) disappointed in myself.

My life wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be a college grad by this point with a stable career, a few kids, and a wonderful spouse. I've managed one of those things. One of the others is unlikely and the remaining is impossible.

I guess there also comes another point in your life where you have to realize that childhood ambitions and dreams usually don't mean a whole hell of a lot. And you should be thankful for what you have managed to accomplish, especially if it's at least made you happy.

I am a crafting goddess among mortals, at least according to my friends. I am- at least I feel like- an accomplished lace knitter and semi-decent watercolor painter. I have many other crafts I can claim skills in.

I have a spouse, and a partner, both of whom love me very much and support me in my artistic endeavors.

A child that, while she isn't mine, I am still caring for and enjoying watching her grow up.

We have a home, a family made of blood relations and the dearest of friends, and an abundance of love.

For the first time in my life, I am feeling the most stable mentally that I ever have. I have mostly cut the toxic people out of my life which has led to an improvement of my self-esteem. I have actually managed to feel confident and beautiful.

I wonder just how many of those people that my brain tells me are better than me can claim such richness?

Anyway, the point of this post isn't about me reflecting on my life. It's supposed to show off the shawl I knit to wear to this damn thing.

Say hello to Mojito.

Knit with just a little over half a skein (I think, and I won't be arsed to go upstairs and check) of Anzula's Wash my Lace in Storm.

She definitely gave me a wee bit of trouble. There's a glaring mistake in the middle of the pattern that I'm sure some of the knitterly among you have noticed, but I wasn't about to rip out and redo this blasted thing.

And don't even get me started on the fact that this took me TEN BLOODY HOURS to bind off. PLUS two hours just for blocking!

My poor hands still haven't recovered. Especially because I was a fool who decided to do a bunch of heavy yard work the day after...

There are just under 900 beads in the pattern, though I'm not sure exactly how many I used myself. I skipped some of them because I was just so fucking tired of messing with them I thought that what I had done was enough.

There are actually two different types of beads in here because I knew I wouldn't have enough to do it all with what I had in my stash. I figured that I would be able to find a similar bead to what I already had.

HA!

Who knew that a size 6 silver lined, white bead with a frosted iridescent finish would be so damned hard to find?

What I found was close enough, thankfully.

It's a little bit shorter than what I normally like in my shawls, and I definitely would have had enough yarn to do another repeat, but I was ready to move on.

"Move on" is really how I could describe this whole thing. I was happy enough to start it, but it ended up becoming a drag by the end. I just wanted it done. 

Which just goes to show that I usually eat my words because I friggin ADORE how it came out. AND it looks really good with the dress I'm planning on wearing to the reunion.

So watch out, my fellow classmates of '08...

I'm coming as this new me. The unabashed, wild-haired, tattooed, creative force of nature that I've become in the 10 years since we've seen each other.

Hope you're prepared.

Destination: Yarn!

Now, this may come as a wee bit of a shock to you, but I kind of have a *thing* for yarn.

I know, I know. Color you surprised.

And when it's yarn done by an indie dyer?

My little heart just goes wild.

And when that indie dyer is, in fact, just a short little jaunt up north?

That sound? That was my heart exploding.

A couple weekends ago, I got to attend Destination Yarn's open house for their new dye studio.

Yep, it's not just another yarn shop. It's a whole new world.

Jeanne has opened a studio to teach people how to dye their own yarn and fiber. It's really incredible!

She also had a beautiful display of all of her current stock of yarn for sale.

Mikayla, Steph, and I were practically kids in a candy store and had to go squish it all.

This was, of course, after I had a minor meltdown about what the hell to wear. Which caused us to be late. Yay, mental illness!

But really, if you're going to a Yarn Thing you need to show off a bit, right? And I have a closet full of shawls to wear. So I got overwhelmed with trying to decide which one was The Right One for the day.

I ended up with my usual "I-Need-To-Impress-Fellow-Knitters" shawl, Celestarium.

A good choice, I guess. Wish I could just get my nerve up to wear them all a bit more often...

Anyway, Steph was on the hunt for a skein of yarn for a Very Important Thing, I promised myself that I just wanted a single skein of heavier yarn for a hat, while Mikayla was trying to be good and only get ONE skein to make socks since she's currently on a sock kick. (heh...)

And because we're all terrible enablers, most of those plans went out the window.

Steph ended up with two yarns to make two Very Important Things, Mikayla bought yarn for another shawl, and I... well... I decided that the yarn I had originally bought for my ceremony shawl wasn't quite perfect.

This, however...

Yeah. I brought them both home. And I have absolutely no regrets.

The color is called Pine Forest. Absolutely perfect for a winter ceremony.

We won't discuss the fact that this also means that I had to change the pattern AGAIN! But I think we really have settled on a winner this time.

I plan on buying both colors that Steph and Mikayla also got because I loved them so much. They can join the ever-growing hoard of colors I have.

Left to right: Irish Bog, Stockholm, and Shark Infested Waters.

Alas, we had to tear ourselves away from the yarny goodness and seek out some sort of caffeine for poor John, who had been dozing in a corner of the shop.

We ended up at Blackbird Baking Company, coincidentally right next to River Colors Studio.

The yarn shop had closed a little bit before we got there, which, honestly was probably the best thing for us. But we did get to meet a lovely fellow knitter in the cafe who happily showed off her Find Your Fade shawl.

I wasn't really impressed with the coffee at Blackbird, but their baked goods were on a whole 'nother level. I had a blue cheese and onion focaccia and thought I was going to die from happiness.

We arrived in time for their happy hour, where everything is half-off. Do you know how tempted I was to clear out their remaining stock? John, the blighter, wouldn't actually let me take it all, but we did get a big bag of goodies to take home for later.

Mikayla had to get going, so we all parted ways, yarn and baked goods in tow.

John and I were trying to decide if we wanted to go check out anything else before heading back home.

We took some adorable selfies...

And decided to at least go drive past the lake. It just doesn't feel right to go to Cleveland and not see it.

I managed to finish Vi's dice bag on the way home.

We're going to ignore the knot in the bind off since some dumbass was so tired that she bound of half her stitches, thought she was done with the whole thing, broke the yarn, pulled it through the last stitch, tried to take her needles back, and became very confused when they wouldn't separate from the project because, you know, HALF THE STITCHES ARE STILL ON THEM!

When you fail, fail spectacularly, right?

I am super in love with the way the colors worked out for this one. It reminds me of something out of my current favorite game, Subnautica.

I just might have to make myself one in this colorway.

But, that'll have to wait since I have to dive headlong into Mojito.

It's a wee bit bigger than this picture shows (I had intended to write this post a cfew days after my last...) I now only have 4 rows of the double sided lace section and the edge chart to go.

But most of those rows...

... are beaded.

And I had to order more beads because I actually didn't have enough of these in my hoard of shiny things.

I couldn't buy more from the place I got them because it closed down. And my usual bead supplier didn't have them. So I had to order them from a company I've never dealt with before, which is always terrifying.

It needs to be done before the 26th for my 10 year class reunion, so I *think* I'll be okay.

But if I'm not....

Well, Celestarium looks pretty good with my dress.

Flying Away

November's shawl... well, it's done.

Has been since Thanksgiving Day.

And I...well... let me tell you a bit about this shawl. I, for some ridiculous reason, decided that a shawl that was pretty much the epitome of everything I dislike doing in knitting would be a perfect project to tackle.

A big, solid colored blob of stockinette, weird increases, flat colorwork, ribbing, cables... all in one project.

Yep.

And it came out... fine,  I guess.

The colorwork was pretty solid.

And the faux-cables (the only thing that I ended up liking doing!) are lovely.

But this shawl just isn't... me.

It just doesn't feel right when I try to wear it. It just feels off somehow.

I couldn't even fake a smile when we were taking pictures.

See? Not happy. Not enthused. Not ready to add this one to the collection.

Apparently, Henry had me knit it for someone else. He just didn't bother to let me know until after I was done with it.

So, this one is going to fly away to the someone it was meant to belong to.

And that's perfectly fine with me.

Besides, I already have this month's shawl on the needles. And in true Ashtan fashion...

It's going to be big...

Beaded...

And named after me.

Let's end this year, this project, and this journey with a bang, eh?

Because next year is already promising to be just as exciting.

The Siren's Swan Song

Well, she's done.

The most brilliant and amazing shawl that my hands have ever produced.

From such a humble little bundle.

Through trial and tribulations.

Not to mention some very real fears about not being able to finish.

But we got there in the end.

And, my god, is she breathtaking.

So many beads placed...

And so many stitches made...

This art was brought into being by my two humble hands. 

I'm left feeling a little lost.

Where do I go from here?

How do I possibly top this?

I mean, this is the most complex project I've ever done.

And, except for a couple of minor hiccups, it went pretty smoothly.

Is this it? Have I peaked?

Nah, I don't really think so, either.

This creative train ain't ever going to stop rolling.

Though I am *slightly* scared at what my next magnum opus is going to involve.

Guess the only way to find out is to keep going forward.