The Leap

Well, I had planned on finishing out the month with the post for Teroldego. But between the rain and the ant infestation, not to mention the wild adventure I had tonight, I haven't had the time to go and take the proper pictures.

I'd rather not just take crappy "shawl laying on the bed" pictures, so we're just going to delay a few more days.

But I have no intention of leaving you to go completely without some sort of knitting related content.

So how about I show you what I cast on last night?

Non-knitters may not know what they're looking at. But can you hazard a guess?

It's a fitted garment, my first.

My first actual sweater.

It's the Ursa Sweater pattern by Jacqueline Cieslak.

And it's going swimmingly as you can see.

Not much else in my life is at the moment, so I'm glad at least one thing is going right.

Pictured Above: the pleasant way my evening started. The opposite of the rest of the night.

*sigh*

It's been an interesting few days.

So, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to dive back into my knitting and do my best to relax.

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Brave at Heart

So, today's going to be a little weird for some of you. Because this is going to be both deeply personal and incredibly nerdy.

To help with this, (and hopefully to keep you reading) I'm going to finally show off my personal library. Especially since it fits what I want to talk about.

At the last pj party, some good-natured ribbing was happening in the little circle of friends around me. I was being harassed for being a "basic bitch Gryffindor." The people around me were Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, and hell, probably a Slytherin, too. I was the single Lion amongst them.

I was trying to not take it personally. Afterall, these were people who I know and love.

But it did get to me a bit more than I realized.

I started feeling embarrassed... ashamed... like I had to apologize and justify why I identify with the House that I do.

"I'm not just a mindless person who only likes popular things!"

I wanted to yell it.

"I have good reasons for why I'm a Gryffindor! I swear!"

It's popular to shit all over Gryffindors because that was the main House featured in the Harry Potter books. So if you identify as a member, you're considered to be just following the crowd.

"You're only a Gryffindor because Harry was a Gryffindor!"

It's easy to look at me and put me in any other House but Gryffindor.

I have the creativity of a Ravenclaw.

The friendliness of a Hufflepuff.

The cleverness of a Slytherin.

But it's Gryffindor that calls to my heart and makes me strive to be better.

To really understand why, first we must examine my history with the series.

I first discovered Harry Potter on a weekend that I was stuck with my dad and his wife. We were at Target, my sister and I forced to just sit around, waiting for her to decide on her next piece of boring beige housewares. My sister and I ended up in the books/electronics section with my dad.

I remember seeing the book on the bottom shelf.

I was entranced by the cover, with the strange bird-horse looking creature, a boy and girl on its back, the shadow of a person in a tower.

I picked it up, opened to the first chapter, and started reading.

"Owl Post" was the name of the chapter.

I sat on the floor and started reading.

"Harry Potter was a highly unusual boy in many ways..."

I don't know how long I sat there until being pulled away.

But even that brief moment was enough.

I was hooked.

I wanted more. I wanted to devour everything this world that I had gotten the tiniest glimpse of had to offer.

Dad and Her, of course, wouldn't even consider buying the book for me. She hated how much I read. (Did I ever tell you about the time I had a hardback book thrown at my face while being screamed at for reading so much?)

So, I asked grandma to get them for me.

And being the supporting, amazing person she is, she did.

In fact, she read them, too.

I've read the first 2 books over 40 times each, the 3rd closer to 50. The rest of the series is somewhere in the 20's.

I went to the midnight release for Goblet of Fire.

My room was painted to look like the Quidditch field.

I spent many, many hours of my life pretending to run about the castle with Harry, Hermione, and Ron, having adventures, learning magic. Grabbing sticks out of the yard to use as a magic wand, beating back the dementors.

I, like so many kids my age, desperately hoped that my letter to Hogwarts would arrive at my door. So I could go and be sorted into Gryffindor by the Sorting Hat and be the best student I could.

Anything to escape the hell I was dealing with at the time.

I was, sadly, disappointed in that regard.

I read those books over and over again, to lose myself in the story as often as I could.

I identified with Harry so much.

How could I not? A sad, lonely little kid who couldn't understand why the people who were supposed to love him despised him so much. That sense of hopelessness as the people who did care about him had to watch as he unwillingly went back to his abusers again and again.

Harry could have easily given into the dark nature that those circumstances can bring. To be the cruel, evil person like the people who abused you.

Heaven knows I've been there myself.

Harry had his own doubts and fears that he would become like that. Worries that he was as evil as Voldemort. That he was heir to a cruel lineage.

There were times that he lashed out and gave into those dark impulses. And the consequences for doing so were always painful.

But I also watched as he made the same choice over and over again. To stand up and fight for himself, his friends, the people he loved.

Even when he would lose everything to do so.

He CHOSE to be brave. He CHOSE to throw himself in the way to protect his friends.

He stood defiantly in face of the dark and came out the other side.

Not whole, not pure. But alive.

And it wasn't just Harry making these choices. Almost every single Gryffindor was an example of bravery, courage, and determination. They stood up for their friends and their principles. And to call out those same friends when needed. 

I'm not saying that they're all saintly human beings with no flaws. In fact, all of them were deeply flawed in some way. It made these fictional characters more human. More easy to identify with. 

If they could choose time and time again to be brave in the face of adversity, why couldn't I?

Afterall, Dumbledore told us that our choices define us more than anything.

'"Exactly," said Dumbledore, beaming once more. "Which makes you very different from Tom Riddle. It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."'

When I was at my darkest moments, imagining myself curled up in the Gryffindor common room, surrounded by my fictional friends, listening to the advice they likely would give me, kept me going.

They would tell me to be brave. To keep fighting. To keep surviving.

And I did.

I stood defiantly in face of the dark and came out the other side.

Not whole, not pure. But alive.

It takes a tremendous amount of bravery to keep going when everything in your head is screaming at you to give up. To just lay down and let the dark take you.

But when you say no, when you scream at that darkness, fighting tooth and nail to defy the odds, to live and breathe and be happy, you are truly the embodiment of what it means to be a Gryffindor.

Sure, the heroes in the stories fight monsters and slay dragons. But us? We fought ourselves. And we're still here.

I choose every single day to keep going.

To defy the cruelty I was taught and choose to be kind, generous, and loving.

To live and do my best to be happy.

And, like Harry himself, I choose to be a forevermore a Gryffindor.

"You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart."

Thanks for letting me ramble on about something that's been in my head for a long time. Hope you enjoyed the library pictures along the way.

We'll get back to the knitting again soon, I promise. Afterall, I have a new shawl to show off.

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Purchases and Plans

This weekend was the annual Great Lakes Fiber Show in Wooster and, like always, I HAD to go there to surrender to the wool fumes.

Caitlin and Mikayla joined me on my quest for wooly wonders, and did we ever have fun.

And by fun, I meant that we were all practically melting from the heat.

I broke Mikayla's rule of no buying until we see everything, but I HAD to snag a skein of Destination Yarn's show exclusive colorway, County Fair.

Yes, a single skein. Not my usual two-for-big-shawls.

I had a limited budget this year, and I knew a big chunk of that was going to go towards the yarn for my ceremony shawl, so I mostly bought single skeins.

But rather than let them just languish as "stash yarn," I did something rather clever. I went ahead and paired it up with some other stash yarn and picked out a pattern. In this case, I grabbed my new Leon Alexander yarn and a skein from Bare Naked Wools that I purchased like 3 or 4 years ago.

The 3 skeins are all put together in a canvas drawstring bag and the pattern has been recorded in my bullet journal. Makes for easy project planning!

The next thing I bought were a couple of minis from Redbird Studios.

And these were paired up with the skein of speckled pink Three Irish Girls and some Shepherd's Wool fingering that I had laying around. In fact, the Shepherd's was one of my first purchases from Harps and Thistles FOREVER ago.

Speaking of Redbird Studios, remember the blue skein I bought last year?

Okay, you probably don't, but that's okay!

Anyway, I decided what I was going to pair with that, too!

The pattern I have in mind for this combo I'm so ridiculously excited about. I'm going to get to try mosaic knitting for the first time!

It's another colorwork technique, but you only use one color at a time. It uses slipped stitches to create the designs.

Like I said, really excited to try that.

My last purchase before we get to ceremony shawl yarn (yes, I actually did find some) is the only thing I haven't paired up with anything yet. Mostly because I think I want to just buy a second skein and make something spectacular out of it.

You can't really tell from the above picture, but the yarn is *sparkly*.

You can kinda see it a little bit here. But in person, it's just *shinyshinyshiny*.

I mean, I guess one stash yarn out of everything I bought really isn't that bad.

But let's move on to the purchase we've all been waiting for.

I give you...

The Ceremony Shawl Yarn!

*fanfare and trumpets and glitter and confetti*

I ended up buying these three skeins from Bewitched Pigments in their Magic fingering weight base. The color is called Into The Woods.

It was love at first sight, really. I tried looking at other yarns, but this color just completely captivated me.

Now I guess I need to sit down and actually design the thing.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

I changed my mind again.

But now that I have the yarn, I have a solid plan in front of me and just need to dive in and get working.

Oh, I also picked up my first dyer pin!

Now I just have to find one of them fancy canvas bags that everyone has and start placing my badges of honor on there.

Well, that's all I got. Catch you later and all that!

"WAIT!" you yell. "Did or did you not get Teroldego done in time to wear to the show?"

Listen...

I did.

It was really easy to finish, surprisingly.

But...

I...

Didn't wear it...

I KNOW!

But I didn't have any good outfit choices to compliment it.

So I ended up wearing Celestarium.

And I was stopped every other booth by someone wanting to see it, which is great and fun and totally ego-inflating.

But lest you think this was a unique thing, Mikayla wore that gorgeous purple Boo Knits shawl of hers and was stopped just as often as I was.

Caitlin was the only smart one and didn't wear wool in nearly 90 degree heat.

We stupidly waited until we were about dead from heat to take a picture together, so I'll spare you from that sight.

Instead, I'll leave you with some new flower pictures from around our yard.

If you'll excuse me, I have some yarn to play with.

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Typical...

It's going to be nearly 90 degrees tomorrow.

Do I really want to wear a 12 foot wide shawl thrown around me in that heat?

So, I may *allegedly* perhaps be trying desperately to finish Teroldego before tomorrow.

It may be a case of "weaving in ends as we drive there" but I think I can do it.

Let's just hope the hands hold up.

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Like my writing? Why don't you buy me a coffee!

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You Might Belong in Gryffindor

Back in March of 2017, I got the bright idea to start a stranded colorwork bag for myself. Being the giant Harry Potter nerd that I am, how could I resist making myself a Gryffindor bag?

The knitting itself was frustratingly slow for me.

I'm not a fast color worker. I don't think I'll ever be. My stitches always end up looking crappy. But I got myself through it, even though it took me over a year of starting and stopping because I'd just toss the damn thing in time out.

I thought I was going to finish it last year when I got the bag portion itself done. But then I couldn't decide on a dang strap.

And y'all already know the struggles I had this year when I thought I finally had figured out the strap situation.

I went ahead and ordered a different strap that I thought would work.

It didn't.

I was at a loss as to what to do.

But I finally said "fuck it!" and improvised, like I always do.

And I think I like it.

I mean, look at those absurd tassels! They're as big as my hand. And a great fidget toy.

I ended up using both of the straps I had originally bought, regardless of how mismatched they were. I used the second one to line the first, which worked out really well.

I was lucky enough to have a button in my stash that fit perfectly.

The back is all checkerboard pattern.

The inside is fully lined in red fabric and I included the all important phone pocket. It certainly won't win any sewing awards, but it's at least functional.

Listen, it's a bag. There's only so many pictures I can take of it. Only so much to say about it.

I'm glad it's done and I'm pretty happy with how it came out, considering how much of a pain it ended up being.

Actually, I like it so much that I'm *actually* considering making another one.

What's wrong with me?
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Tidbits

I really haven't worked on any sort cohesive projects that require an entire blog post dedicated to it, so I thought I'd just kinda show the little things I've been doing and working on.

I did get one little knit project done a few months ago that I just never shared here.

I made a mini me in a black goat outfit!

I even have a lil tail.

But that's not all.

Afterall, who would I be without one of my signature shawls?

Yep! It's a mini Rainbomb!

And yes, I'm seriously considering making mini versions of all my favorite shawls.


John and I had fun with a quick bit of thrift shopping recently.

My faves were these incredible, brand-new boots.

And these two new purses.

We did our annual clean-all-the-crud-off-the-porch and, damn, it's looking so good.

We also discovered some new residents on said porch when we were cleaning. We're now playing host to a hive of carpenter bees.

If you look closely, there's one on the bricks to the right, as well as one in one of the tubes in the bottom right.

They don't really pose a threat, so we're going to let them do their thing.

We've also been busting our butts on our flower beds, especially the problem one in the front.

I ended up with some new color varieties of marigold in the planter boxes.

The left one is called Fireball and the left is Strawberry Blonde.

I also got these gorgeous petunias.

But my absolute favorite is the coleus we ended up planting in the front flower bed.

This seriously is my new favorite flower bed. Lets just hope that things actually grow like I want them to.


I got a fun new book to read.

I haven't had a chance to really dive in much. I want to take my time and really take it in rather than do my usual C O N S U M E style of reading, which allows me to just get lost in the book and process it all later.

What's that? The project underneath?

Yeah, okay. Teroldego has made it out of purgatory. I've made it to the lace section now. I haven't touched it in nearly a week, though, since we've been working outside so much.

As for Cloud Illusions (the shawl I said I wanted to wear to GLFS)... well, the more I thought about it, the more I kept looking at Rainbomb.

Rainbomb is an absolute spectacle and really friggin impressive. I *want* to show it off. And where better to do that than at a fiber show?

Speaking of fiber, want to see my newest wool pretties?

First up is what I ended up getting at the latest pj party, a pretty skein of TIG Adorn Sport.

I've seen this poor loner on the wall forever and I felt bad, so I brought it home. I just wish I could actually get a halfway decent picture of it. It's absolutely gorgeous in person, but was being particularly persnickety about showing that off.

"But Ashtan! What are you going to do with a single skein of sport yarn? Also... they make sport weight yarn? I thought only bulky, worsted, fingering, and lace existed in your world..."

Yes, yes, I know. But I actually already have a plan in place! There's actually some other TIG yarn in the same weight that is going to pair beautifully with this. So, I got my next purchase already sorted.

The other yarn I got was a Limited Edition color from Leon Alexander Yarns. It was part of their May the 4th collection. It's called Eulogy and it's dedicated to our most beloved Rebel Princess and General, Leia Organa.

I'm kicking myself for not buying a second one. Isn't it just lovely?

And to finish us out, how about I show off the LAST FRIGGIN CHRISTMAS PRESENT I did last year? No, I still haven't managed to send it to Lily. But I at least showed her pictures! So, without further ado, behold! The spider cowl!

This really was a labor of love because there was So. Much. Purling.

But I can't really argue with the results.

I absolutely adore how each spider looks completely different and unique from the other ones.

I actually love it so much that I *may* or *may not* be considering making myself a matching one. Assuming I can convince my hands that all that purling is worth it again.

I think it is. Don't you?
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Like my writing? Why don't you buy me a coffee!

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