...And 6 Months

It seems that I always conveniently have important dates happen in my life around this time of the year. Great for keeping it straight in my head, but bad for you guys. Because now you have to read yet another sappy blog post.

I'll try to keep the squishy to a minimum, but no promises.

I talk about Jamie occasionally on here. I mean, they're a super important part of my life. They're bound to make an appearance occasionally. I've talked a bit about our relationship and how it has changed my life. But I've never really talked about Jamie as a person.

I thought I'd give that a go. This is probably going to be a mess and all over the place. And I'm feeling enormous pressure on myself to make sense of all these jumbled thoughts I have.

But it's important to me that you can see Jamie through my eyes.

Deep breath and just let it flow, right?

Well...

Jamie is, without a doubt, the biggest effing nerd I have ever met.

(Great start, huh?)

Seriously, though, Jamie is an avid gamer and can lay claim to several fandoms. They have this incredible wealth of knowledge about those games and fandoms, too, so when you need to know something, you ask them.

It's sort of rubbed off on me and I find myself finally jumping into the gaming pool that I've been so afraid of.

We've been playing through Resident Evil 5, recently beating it on the Professional difficulty. Which is a huge achievement for me. I haven't played any game on anything higher than a normal difficulty. But we did it, Jamie patiently helping me every step of the way.

Which leads me to the next point. Like I said, Jamie is incredibly patient. Especially when it comes to teaching someone something. But really, it extends to a lot of different things.

During a random conversation about what animal each of us were like (go with me on this) Jamie said that I was a rabbit. I looked at them curiously and asked them what made them say that? They replied that I was excitable and nervous.

I laughed then, but really thinking about it, it's true. I tend to hop into situations, get startled by something, and run right back out. It's something that I've dealt with a lot in this relationship. I get overwhelmed by something my illogical brain is telling me and want to just run away. But Jamie always talks me through it, no matter how many times it happens. They answer my questions, talk me through my doubts, and we both come out having improved the relationship.

And they are just so incredibly loving and giving. Jamie does so much to make sure that Kate and I both know just how important we are to them. But that's to be expected in a relationship. What really shines about Jamie is the lengths they would go for their friends.

If you have the gift of Jamie's friendship, you are always going to have someone in your corner. Someone who will give you all kinds of loving shit, but you better believe if you need something and Jamie can help, you're going to have it.

However, Jamie isn't just a friendly smile and platitudes. They are fiercely loyal, true, but will also call you out on your shit. As they've told me before, they never want to see me stagnante. They want me to grow as a person. I think that feeling extends to all of the people close to them. And to themselves.

It takes incredible strength to constantly be wanting to improve and learn. And that, I think, might be one of the things that I admire most about them; their strength.

The amount of adversity that Jamie must face every single damn day is overwhelming. And that's from an outsider perspective. It's not my place to describe it all. It's not my story to tell. But what they live with and through every day is staggering and heartbreaking.

And I know how much they struggle. I've seen it. I've dealt with it. But they still push themselves through. Not always well, not always whole, but always still fighting.

Jamie is a beautiful and broken person. It takes a hell of a lot of effort on both our parts to make this relationship work. When you have two people who are crippled by mental illness, it makes things ten times harder. But we somehow are. And I will forever be grateful for this.

I guess if I really had to try to sum it all up...To explain why I'm in this relationship at all and who this person is to me, the best, most concise answer is simply...

Jamie makes me happy and, holy hecking hell, they can make me laugh.

And they like puns.

I actually probably could have just wrote that and you would know everything there is to know about Jamie.

I mean...

What's not to love?

Happy 6 months, Jamie. I hope I've done at least an okay job at trying to convey the wonderful person that I see you to be. <3