The Point of Pointless

In the frantic haze leading up to the vow renewal, I was dealing with near-constant sheer panic and decided that the only thing to do was stress cast-on a new shawl.

And no, I'm not talking about the one from this post.

I mean I went stash diving, found a completely different pattern, and had at it.

I really wanted to have it done by the end of the year, just as a last hurrah.

So I did it.

Finished it yesterday, in fact.

And as I was blocking it out, I stood back and felt... confused.

And vaguely disappointed.

I didn't understand this shawl.

Not how it came together. That was easy.

But what was the point of this shawl?

I didn't have an event to wear it to.

I didn't have an outfit in mind for it.

It wasn't a pattern that I had been dying to try or yarn that I was itching to play with.

Sure, I had an arbitrary deadline, but it wasn't something I was super committed to.

It was, for me, a pointless exercise compared to my usual methods of creation.

I just needed something to make, so I made.

Sitting down to write this all out, it occurs to me that maybe pointlessness was the point.

For once, it was the act of creation, not the finished object, that I needed.

So what am I going to do with it now? Well, I happily let it go into the arms of my spouse, who fell in love with it as I was knitting it. They didn't know I was giving it to them and the smile they had when I handed it over made my heart melt.

And you know what? That was a pretty good way to end the year.
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A Long Road

I seemed to blink and suddenly the event we'd been planning for over 2 and a half years is over.

I'll be posting about the whole thing soon, but for now let's get to what you really care about: the shawl.

Y'all know how long it took me to actually decide on a pattern. I went through every different option for shawls on ravelry (not to mention trying to design my own) before ultimately deciding on... the very first pattern that I picked out at the start.

Despite the odd name, the center of this shawl just screamed "snowflake" to me.

Adding in the picot bind-off was just a bonus that sealed the deal.

The color was the perfect deep emerald green that is exactly what I had envisioned when I was planning our color scheme.

It is proving a little impossible to photograph, so you'll just have to use your imagination a bit.

Or, y'know, just go buy yourself some.

Shoutout to Mikayla and Caitlin for basically strong arming me into buying this yarn instead of letting me continue to fret and change my mind a billion more times.

My whole ensemble made me feel like some ethereal fae being.

I can't even put into words how incredible I felt.

We won't talk about the amount of sweat going on with all these layers, though...

We also won't discuss the fact that I put in FIFTEEN HUNDRED BLOODY BEADS INTO THIS THING!

Because why do something easy when I can be Extra As Fuck?

Let's be honest, it wouldn't have been a properly Ashtan-ed shawl without the beads.

And the dramatic poses.

Okay, I've prattled on enough about literally the best thing I've ever made, so I'll leave you off with one more glamour shot.

Have a happy holidays, y'all.

If you want to get me something nice, my Kofi and PayPal Links are below.

<3

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A Quiet Pause

This is it.

The last breath before the chaos.

I'm sitting here in the library, curled up on the loveseat, with Bee at my side.

Cozy in my Gryffindor sweater, I'm drinking tea sweetened with honey I helped harvest.

It's snowing.

It's so quiet.

Watching the snow swirl through the light from the street lamps is mesmerizing and so utterly calming.

I feel the tension that has been strung through me for weeks start to loosen and fade.

I can breathe again.

All will be well.

The Final Countdown

Welp, we're down to just a mere 8 days before the vow renewal.

And I am FREAKING THE FUCK OUT.

I feel like I have nothing under control, despite making checklist after checklist

I haven't even finished writing the damn thing.

Yep, that's right!

I haven't even finished like THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THIS WHOLE THING!

*sigh*

So instead of working things like I should be doing...

I started a new shawl.

Panic knitting is clearly the answer here, right?

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A Most Important Note

(Just FYI, I have full permission to share this.)

My most darling spouse has updated their pronouns to they/them and I will be using those going forward.

And for the record, darling...

I'm pretty dang proud of you.

And I can't wait to see what these changes will mean for your confidence and happiness in the future.

Love you, nerd.

<3

Cold Hollywood

So I had started this week intending to write a blog post about some of the stuff I was currently working on, including the shawl I was making to wear to the formal Christmas party with Kevin and Renee.

See? This was taken Monday.

I procrastinated my writing and in the meantime and, uhhh..... I finished the knitting.

Seriously, I bound it off Thursday. So I decided I might as well wait until the weekend to make the post.

It would be better, right? I could put on some pretty clothes and show y'all something awesome.

I even posted some teaser pics on my instagram stories to get the hype up.

And because I needed validation after sewing nearly 40 of those goddamned beads to the points of this thing.

ANYway, I woke up this morning with every intention of going out and taking fancy pictures of this beauty, but then I realized I just didn't want to.

I didn't sleep well last night, I didn't feel like making myself look all fancy... and it was cold. Like REALLY FUCKING COLD. Cold enough that I did NOT want to stand around in just a dress to make things pretty.

So instead, you get these super quick shots out front.

This is yet another Sunshine and Pinwheels, the same pattern I made for my family member back in August. I even used the same yarn (Malabrigo Mora) but in a different color.

It's really hard to tell in pictures, but this is the color of antique linens. Y'know that wonderful brown patina they get? Yeah, that's what this looks like.

And of course as you already saw, I had to go full Extra Mode and not only add beads in the pattern, but also sewed on those teardrop crystals on the points as well.

It gives the whole thing an Old Hollywood feel. And it looks FABULOUS with the emerald green velvet dress I have to wear.

But if you feel like you're missing out on my beautiful face in this post, well, I don't want to leave my dear readers disappointed.

So here you go: Me in all my hair-blowing-pj-wearing-no-makeup-or-bra glory.

I even took some Moody Selfies.

A special thank you to my long-suffering spouse who hates being cold with a passion that rivals my hatred of being hot.

Love you babe!

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Steady On

When we last left off, I was a mere 6 rows and a picot bind-off away from finishing my vow renewal shawl.

I'm happy to report that it is, in fact, finished.

Even though the bind-off did its best to kill me. It took me 15 hours to do...

Yeah...

Anyway, I don't have any finished pictures yet because my skin decided that a giant friggin zit ON MY LIP of all places was what I needed. And I don't really want that in my photos with such a gorgeous shawl. So instead you can just have this teaser of the pre-blocked beauty.

As for everything else relating to the vow renewal, things are steadily moving forward.

We're working on getting the Christmas decorations up, which are also the deorations we're using for the ceremony.

The mantle is done.

Some of the garlands are up.

I've started on the tree.

But I do need to go buy more decorations for it because it's just *slightly* bigger than we anticipated.

Even all this isn't enough.

But I am fond of how the top is shaping up.

Speaking of this tree, this is the one I bought when Pat Catan's was going out of business earlier this year. I paid a whopping $36 for it.

Want to know the original price?

Yep.

A $700 tree for $36.

This is probably my best buy to date.

On the knitting front, I've started a new shawl to wear for Christmas itself.

It's another Sunshine and Pinwheels in Malabrigo Mora. I made one in August for my cousin and I loved how it looked in this yarn so much that I HAD to make one for myself.

This color totally reminds me of antique linens, which is delightful. I think it'll be lovely with my emerald green velvet dress.

I'm considering adding jet black crystal beads to the points, too. Because why make life easier for myself?

I've also knit a couple of hats for John and myself.

No formal photos yet, but here you go.

This is just an improvised design, but I DID write it all down, so I'll probably throw it up on here eventually as a free pattern.

I especially love the giant pom-pom on mine.

I also have some knitting-to-be in the form of the Anthophila Sweater.

It has bees on it. How can I not?

I'm thinking ivory body and gold bees.

Wouldn't that be stunning?

This will probably be my January/February project. An indulgence of selfish knitting after the holiday rush.

Because yes, I AM ALSO KNITTING CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.

I *obviously* don't have enough to do.

But going back to the selfish knitting, I was kinda maybe considering hosting a craft-along around that theme? Some self-care crafting at the start of the year for everyone who needs it. Does that sound like something you'd be interested in? Let me know!

For now, though, I need to get back to work. Today's goals were to write this and finish painting our upstairs hallway. And sadly, I haven't completed my painting robot, so I guess that's on me to do.

So, I'll leave you with our color inspiration for this space.

Cheers!

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Roller Coaster... And Not the Fun Kind

Last week...

Oof.

It was ridiculous the way things were.

It started with a coming out of someone I love, which was amazing and wonderful.

It was immediately followed by our car acting up, requiring a shop visit.

Then there was another uncomfortable discussion with a family member.

And then I woke up Friday to find my beloved Katie bird had passed away sometime during the night.

And that almost broke me entirely.

She was an older bird, so it wasn't entirely surprising or unexpected, but it's never easy losing such a precious family member.

So my Friday was spent between sobbing so hard I thought I was going to throw up and being so damn anxious about Saturday that I also felt like I was going to throw up.

And what was Saturday you ask?

My tattoo appointment for the tattoo my loved ones and friends so generously contributed to.

Because I was so worn down from the week, my brain decided to just be an ass and I was more nervous about this tattoo than any other I've ever gotten.

It didn't help that we were running super late and I was feeling like crap. I'd lost my appetite over the week and could barely choke down something to eat. And you HAVE to have something in your stomach to get a tattoo.

But Margot (my artist) put me at ease and everything went beautifully.

I especially ADORE the bee.

I've spent the last two days just kinda chilling and working on my vow renewal shawl, which is ALMOST DONE!

I'm six rows and a picot bind-off away from finishing this thing. I'm a little worried about running out of beads, but my last skein of yarn is waiting in the mailbox. So I'm going to keep this brief and leave you all with this little teaser.

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LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH

Alright, let's be honest here. This post is nothing more than a photo dump of a bunch of stuff that I wanted to share here, but never really fit into other posts.

I had two more of my prickly babies surprise me with flowers this year.

Pinky up there decided to give me one last one this morning after being moved back inside for the winter.

Actually, I just went to check and BOTH of these lovelies will be putting out more blooms!

Kevin and Renee bought me these new lovelies for my birthday.

There was an orchid, too, but...uh... I already killed that...

Listen, I'm good with cactuses, okay?

I wanted to buy all these pumpkins at Petitis.

We ended up just buying standard pumpkins at Target.

But we had fun carving some of them!

I sat right by these pretty things all dressed up in my Halloween best for the local Trick-or-Treat.

Our trees put on a good show this year.

And we'll round things out with a heaping dose of pet pics.

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