He Goes by Henry

I think it was sometime in the middle of last year that I first joked about selling my soul to a Wooly Demon patron. An offhand comment, made for a laugh.

The problem was an idea started forming. Just a little think tucked away in the back of my brain.

I started building it in my head.

If I really did have a demon patron, what would he look like? How did he get assigned to someone like me? What was his life like before?

And before I knew it, this character blossomed into life. He didn't have a name yet, but I knew what he looked like. So I sat down the other day and decided to finally get him out.

Meet Henrizaial Thurnard Gorthmyne IV, wooly demon patron of one knitter by the name of Ashtan. He goes by Henry, thank you very much. It's what his grandmama called him.

I ended up doing a full water color portrait of him.

I stayed up until nearly 5 am to finish him, but he was finally out of my head and in the world.

Satisfied, I went to bed.

But, like it always does, my brain came up with another idea.

Damnit.

So, a second Henry came about.

And he was cut out by hand using an exacto knife. By the way, HOLY CRAP, THAT KILLS YOUR HANDS!!!

Needed some other supplies to go with this project, including some very tiny crocheted flowers and small balls of yarn.

But the end result is exactly how I imagined in my head.

I need a better picture of it, but Henry is enclosed in a shadowbox now. He's hanging on our bedroom wall, guarding my stash.

I like to think of this as his Spring Look.

Which means that I have to make three more for the rest of the seasons...

Crap.

Inappropri-prick

The depression monster decided to rear its ugly head earlier this week.

I turned to my knitting, but my shawl was just not cutting it. It just felt like I was drowning in grey yarn with no end in sight, so I desperately started going through my favorites on Ravelry. Something had to catch my attention, right? I needed something quick that would give me a sense of accomplishment and that little hit of an endorphin rush.

A doily, a mug cozy, a hat, plushies... I went through them all.

I ended up stumbling upon a pattern I had used for Jamie's bulbasaur. If you recall, I had decided to make a cactus on the back of it rather than the bulb.

Well, I thought a cute little prickly friend would look great in our bedroom.

So, this is the part where I show you the finished thing and talk about how great it was, right?

Heh.

This is me we're talking about.

So, rather than one tiny little guy, I decided to knit an entire planter's worth of wooly flora.

It really is the perfect project for me right now. A long reaching project that still let's me get the rush of completing something every time I finish one of the plants.

Also, I can use up some of these green yarn scraps.

Not that I have that many or anything...

I first started with this rather proud guy.

The next one, I went a little ballsy and used my own pattern.

I then decided to really stretch myself and started on one similar to this, only using fingering weight yarn and size 1 needles.

Unfortunately, Phelix (one of the cats that decides to reside here) jumped out of our bedroom window and landed directly on my needle, snapping it in half.

I only had one set of needles in that size (note: JOHN! BUY ME A WHOLE SET OF SOCK NEEDLES FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY!), so I couldn't really finish it.

Guess that means I have to put in a Knit Pick's order. Oh darn,

So I'm currently just sitting on this.

Life really is a dick sometimes.

But I guess it's just best to remember...

You Chose... Poorly

Jamie and I are on our way to Waynesburg after I went down to Athens for a short visit.

Our Frindermas party is tomorrow, lest you think me so heartless as to ask my partner to drive me all the way home for shits and giggles. 

I'm really, really excited about this party and excited that Jamie will be attending this year. It's my favorite Christmas party every year, hands down.

Still, two long drives in a few short days is no easy task. They tend to up my anxiety, so I try to do what I can to make it easier on myself.

That usually involves packing plenty of things to do (lots of knitting and books) and making sure that I'm wearing something comfy.

This trip I only brought one knitting project, as bag space was highly limited. (The shawl I cast on after tossing Orchid Thief angrily aside, in case you were curious. Details are vague, but it's being worked in a light grey alpaca.) And as far as clothing went, leggings seemed the best option since they were comfy, easy to pack, and would work with a large range of my tops.

Today, I opted for black leggings and black tshirt since it's so bloody warm. I got myself all comfy, pulled out my knitting, and started happily working.

It was all of 10 minutes before I looked down and realized my mistake.

Black outfit. Fuzzy, grey alpaca.

Yeah. I'm wearing more of the fiber than I'm knitting.

Oh, well. At least I don't have to try and impress anyone with my looks today.

And let's be honest, I have enough cats that this isn't a problem I'm unfamiliar with.

So, I'll keep right on happily knitting as I steadily add more and more to the grey patch on my lap.

Flowered Nightmare

Today was an absolutely amazing day...

At first.

I had the house to myself. It was softly raining outside. I had curled up with Orchid Thief and the Yarn Harlot's blog archive.

My plan was to finish up the last couple rows of the last repeat and finally move on to the edging. I'd still have the whole thing done in under a month.

And there she is. All sunshine and rainbows with 7 repeats all done!

Yes.

7.

Seven.

Seven.

NOT the EIGHT that was needed to make the edge work.

Because I can't bloody count.

*incoherent rage noises and sounds of Ashtan's poor soul being crushed to pieces*

So...

Orchid Thief is being put into the time-out bin for quite a while. I just can't bring myself to slog through anymore of it at the moment.

Yes, I know it is so close to being done, but if I even look at the damned thing right now I may become homicidal. Combined with knitting needles in my hand, and let's just say that no one would be safe.

I went stash diving and pattern searching and have come up with a suitable replacement project. Something fairly simple, but not dull and I do believe it will be quite fun to do.

At least, it better be, Because if my wooly demon patron is drunk on the job one more time, I may just burn the next project.

Paint a Plant, Get a Goat

I think I'm going to capture the etsy world by storm.

You know how people offer all sorts of custom portraits of clients' pets? Yeah, I think I need to start doing that with people's plants.

And that's actually what I got the opportunity to do recently.

There's a little corner of the internet that I frequent to hang out with other crafty people. One of the things we do are craft exchanges. Someone will offer up their services to make something in exchange for others' crafting talents.

One of the users offered to make stained glass pieces. I had to jump on that one, so I offered up knitting, book binding, and watercolor painting. 

Obviously, she chose the painting. *points at title of post*

So, she sent along a picture of her aloe plant. Her favorite, as it turns out, because it's the one plant she's managed to keep alive.

I did a 5x7 as opposed to the mini ones I had been doing, but still kept the unnecessary metallic beads. They've kind of become my signature style. 

And here it is next to it's inspiration.

I had a LOT of fun painting it. And I really am considering starting to sell some etsy. 

Anyone want a plant portrait? 

Anywho, in exchange, I got something super totally awesome and amazing and cool.

A goat!

Specifically, a black goat. (Well, as close as you can get to black stained glass),

And...

IT'S WEARING A GRYFFINDOR SCARF!!!

AHHHH!!!!!

I'm slightly enthusiastic about it.

Just a little.

Annnnnnnnd, now I'm feeling the need to collect goats.

Shit.

Setbacks and Amphibians

You know how sometimes everything just seems to be going perfect? It's all turning out fine. Your project is flying by and you, in fact, are going to have it finished in a ridiculously short amount of time.

That's how it was going with Orchid Thief. I flew through my chart repeats. There was a small little scare when I got to the last color in the gradient pack, but I had the perfect amount.

It was time to move onto the edging and have this thing cranked out in less than 10 days.

But, I ran into a little snag.

You see, in reading through the pattern, there was nothing about not being able to enlarge the shawl. I just assumed that I'd be okay.

God, I wished I had looked through the other projects on Ravelry. I would have seen others notes about it. That if I had just enough yarn to do an 8th repeat, the edging would line up beautifully.

But I didn't. All I had left was the edging color.

So, I decided to just forge ahead and figure out my own edging.

Yeah...

To say that it looked terrible is being kind.

So, Orchid Thief got shoved into the timeout box in a fit of rage.

What could I do? I wasn't about to go and buy another gradient pack of yarn. My best hope was to find something I could blend in to what I had and do an extra repeat.

I found something that was the wrong weight (dk instead of sport) and fiber (a mishmash blend of everything compared to the 100% merino I had been using), but the color would blend in wonderfully.

So I bought it and decided to start working again.

But first, I had to visit the frog pond and rip out my edging.

This was right after ripping my needles out and about giving John and a few other knitting friends a heart attack.

It took me all of 5 minutes to rip out an entire days worth of work.

I got all my stitches back on the needles and started in with the new color with a great amount of trepidation.

I mean, what if my gauge was SUPER wonky and I screwed up the whole thing?

But I'm happy to report that it is, in fact, working out. I'm over halfway done with the last repeat and plan on finishing the whole thing in the next week or two. Got some other projects to work on first, as well. Secret projects that you'll see at the end of January.

Also, I have some zombies to kill with my lover. And let's be honest, that's pretty important, too. And pretty damn fun. And if we're being honest here, more appealing than dealing with nearly 400 stitches per row.

So, I'm going to go do that instead of anything productive. Deadlines? Huh? Can't hear you over the sound of the angry hordes of undead.

Honest Reflections

When I started toying with the idea of writing an end of the year post, reflecting on the changes to my life and whatnot, I intended for it to be a light hearted and quick thing. Casually tossed together and written off.

I'd make many bad jokes, brush on a few light topics, and end with a generally positive message.

And I'd completely avoid the topic that I have hinted oh so briefly on before.

Mainly, concerning my love life.

It's easy to say that it's none of anyone else's business. That I don't have to say a damn thing or explain myself to anyone. Just keep it to myself and tell the nosy people to go to hell.

But that has never been who I am.

I am a constant overshare-er, I know. I probably tell people way too much about myself. But I appreciate it so much when people are that open with me in return.

When it comes down to it, I'm a great lover of people. I want to hear all about your childhood pets, your pie in the sky dreams, and hell, even about that time you got that weird rash all over your ass.

And in return, I hope you let me tell you about myself. So you and I can share that human connection that we are constantly seeking.

This blog has become my way to tell whoever stumbles upon it about who I am as a person. And it would be disingenuous of me to hide a large part of my life from it.

But this part of my life could have real repercussions on not only myself, but others that I care deeply for.

I've gone back and forth since the early summer about this. Weighing the risks and benefits. Trying to decide if, at the end of this, it was worth all of the potential hassle and harassment.

And honestly, it is. For a whole host of reasons.

I'd much rather live my life openly and unashamedly, giving a big middle finger to anyone who tries to tell me that I am "wrong."

And to show people that just because someone lives an "alternative lifestyle," doesn't mean that they are perverted, broken, or on a one-way trip to hell.

That we are just people who live a little differently.

By now, most of you are probably expecting some giant proclamation of something vaguely sinister.

Well, sorry to disappoint you, but it's nothing really that out there.

Simply put, John and I are polyamorous.

Now, some of you may not know what that means. So, let me enlighten you.

Being poly means that we both enjoy having multiple romantic relationships at the same time.

You may have heard the term "open marriage" or "swingers," but those each have their own definition that doesn't quite fit us.

John and I were both involved with a woman earlier this year, but it didn't end up working out. She's still very dear to us and we still care deeply for her.

But the relationship I really want to discuss is the one with Jamie.

We've been dating since August. I'm sure that some of you noticed a difference in my demeanor around then.

I started gaining confidence. And a sense of self-worth.

Hell, I even actually had some pride in my skills.

Entering into a relationship with Jamie was one of the best things I have ever done for myself and my mental health. I am now completely surrounded by love and acceptance and patience from two amazing people who do their damnedest to take care of me.

I am being genuine and honest when I say that I love them both fiercely and passionately.

And I don't feel any less attracted to or in love with John. I'm not taking anything away from John by also loving Jamie. My heart is just capable of loving both of them at once.

John and I's marriage, in fact, has improved. I've found that we're much more patient with each other. It's easier for us to communicate our feelings because you have to when you're poly.

He doesn't feel threatened or jealous of Jamie at all. He's actually thanked Jamie for being such a great support system for me.

That's another thing. I have two people now that I can lean on when Beaverly is terrorizing me. I'm seeing changes in the way I cope with my mental illness now. Positive changes. It's bloody wonderful.

I could go on and on about all the positive changes in my life since this relationship came about, but truth be told, it feels like that would be me trying to justify my life.

Instead, I'm going to end this post, go cuddle my husband, and text my love. And I'm going to be so damn thankful that I have them both in my life to love.

I wish you all the most happiest of a new year. May you all find the love you deserve, the happiness you need, and the laughter you want.