Good-Fucking-Bye

In a few hours, 20-I-HATE-teen will be a mere memory. Lost forever to time.

THANK ALL THE BLESSED BLOODY STARS

So, let's pour the champagne, put on the comfy pants, and take a quick look back at all the projects I managed to finish over the last 12 months.

First, my octopus hat.

My first blanket.

The first Rios Lace Tam.

Quite a few dice bags.

Cute little soft friends.

 

Soft friends wearing soft things.

The second lace tam.

A few odds and ends.

And most importantly, a few shawls.

The fact that I got so much done despite the absolute bloody disaster this year stands as a giant, defiant middle-finger to it.

So, goodbye, so long, and fuck you, 2018.

2019, you better be better. I'm fucking watching you.

Alright, friends. We made it. Let's kick ass next year.

Love you all. <3

A Plethora of Plushies

As I said in my last post, I HAVE been working on stuff. Surprising to most of you I'm sure, I wasn't working much on any of the fifty-million shawls I currently have going.

I was in need of easy, fast projects to help soothe my battered heart and keep me from stabbing people with my needles. So I started making a metric crap-ton of plushies.

I started on this little dude right after we lost Oscar.

I had originally intended to make him out of a different yarn, in worsted weight. But all the worsted I have is pretty muted and dark. I needed something brighter. I stumbled across this bulky MadTosh yarn while stash diving and knew I had found a winner.

Bubbles here (yes, I named him. Don't act surprised) came out so much bigger than I imagined and that absolutely delighted me.

Being able to start and finish a project in just two days definitely helped bring me a little out of the fog. I wanted to keep chasing that high, so I kept knitting.

Next was the otter I had promised John a while ago.

Yep, he's even wearing a little triangle scarf made of some leftover fingering weight yarn.

He now occupies a corner of John's desk at work. It makes me a little sad that he's alone, so I'll probably have to make him a friend soon.

Next up was a long-ago made promise for Kayla in the form of a Junimo from Stardew Valley.

Followed by the LAST DAMN BULBASAUR THAT I WAS COMMISSIONED FOR!

And finally, a birthday present for Vi.

You would have thought I learned my lesson with Bubbles and make it a wee bit smaller...

...Yeah, it got Ashtaned instead.

I do have another plush/art doll thing that I hinted at a while back, but I think it's deserving of its own post.

And lest you think I've abandoned my shawls entirely, here's a progress pic of Fade.

I'm on color 3 of 7 and section 6 of 13. The only problem is that I want to make some changes to the colors I chose...

And I have to buy new yarn to do that.

So much for this being a stash-only project.

But really, did you expect anything less of me?

Of course you didn't.

374 + 374 And a Couple More

As is tradition, I've missed my blog-iversary by several days. *coughnearly2weekscough*

I'm sure you're all fed up with the mushy, lovey-dovey posts, so I guess I'll do what I did last year and do a pure numbers post.

Let's start with pageviews.

My most popular post was A Comedy of Errors, which sits at 428 pageviews.

Of course Orchid Thief would be my most popular post, the disaster that it was. Let's be honest, it's more entertaining when things go wrong, huh?

A couple of other posts made it well over 150 views, another awesome surprise.

I'm averaging more than 50 pageviews on almost every post, another increase.

To date, I've had 9,008 pageviews to the blog itself. I was right around 3k last year.

I've managed to double my view numbers. In a friggin year.

Like, holy crap, people.

It still blows my mind so may people actually care about what I have to say enough to come here and read it. Truly, deeply, thank you for that. I can't even begin to tell you what this blog has meant to me.

Sorry, sorry, I promised no mush.

My goal was to write at least one post a week. I've happy to say that not only did I average that, but I BEAT IT! I've written 61 posts over the past year at the time of writing this.

As for projects, I didn't actually knit as much this year as I did last year.

Hats

• Neon Ski Bonnet
• Obnoxiously Cheerful Hat
• Pussy Hat Project

Sweaters

• Autumn Lace Shrug
• Grandma's Lace Sweater

Miscellaneous

• Mismatched Socks
• String Bean Fingerless Gloves
• Owl Mitts
• Deep Sea FLower Dice Bag

Amigurumi

• Prickly Bulbasaur
• Fallbasaur (I actually have two of these done, plus commissions for 5 more!)

Shawls

• Age of Brass and Steam
• Orchid Thief
• Art and Coffee
• Grey Skies
• Rainshine
• Yarn Wife (My very first completely original design)
• Kelp
• Steam Bells
• Gem In Eyes

I did release my first paid pattern on Ravelry, though. The lace panel I designed for my sweater up there.

Normally, I think I'd be disappointed with myself for not knitting more. But this past year I found my definitive Second Craft. 

I started teaching myself watercolor painting in November of last year. And I think I've devoted almost an equal amount time to it this past year as my yarn and needles. A rough count in my head gives me a rough estimate of 30+ paintings that I've finished this year. And that's not including all of the pendants I've done.

This was my very first attempt, if you remember.

And this is the latest.

And I'm pretty damned proud of that.

Well, I tried hard to avoid it, but we're going to have to get gross for a second. I know, but it'll be okay. Just find a cuddle buddy and we'll get through this together.

Once again, I have to thank each and every one of you who have stopped here and taken time to read one (or several!) of my posts. 

I started this blog on a whim after reading a bunch of Yarn Harlot's archive. I wanted a place to share and talk about my knitting. Ravelry project notes aren't really that great for that. So having a blog, I could really get down to the knitty-gritty of things. *sorrynotsorry*

But this has been so much more than that. 

I've undergone so many life changes. Losses, gains. Through hell and back, through battles, through love. 

And I've been able to share that all here. I've been able to put myself out into the world. I've learned how to more effectively communicate with the people around me. 

Jamie told me once that she loves reading the blog because it allowed her to see a different aspect of me. And until that moment, I didn't really realize how true that is. This blog has given voice to the things that I want to say, but never quite manage to in person. 

Thank you. 

Thank you for your support. Your patronage. Your love.

And here's to the next 374 days. 

Falling Into It

Sometimes, such a simple little idea can turn into something fantastic and wonderful.

Remember my little Bulbasaur?

Yeah, well, a week or so ago I had a silly little thought. And ended up making this.

Yes.

It's a Fallbasaur.

The problem is that now *everyone* wants one.

So, even though I said I'd never sell my yarn crafts, I decided to relax this and take some orders.

First one just needs a pumpkin. And then there's 4 more to do after this.

This is also my roundabout way of saying that Mermaid Lair is totally not getting done in time. I'm going to aim for November's Zelda Symphony that we'll be going to. I'll fancy myself up just for that.

As for the wedding, I'll probably just wear Rainshine and the blue dress that John loves so much.

I *did* cast on something simple for September's shawl, though.

I wound up that delightful skein I bought at Great Trail and started a simple triangle shawl.

Still no idea how it's going to end up, but I'm excited for another simple project.

Henry knows I need it.

Let It Go

I have a really, really bad habit of projecting feelings on to inanimate objects.

I suppose that's an entirely human trait, though, right?

We procure mementos and keepsakes from our travels and important events. Little trinkets that we can look at and relive the occasion in our hearts.

But sometimes things happen and taint the memories. Friendships fail, relationships fall apart. And instead of a rush of happy feelings, our thoughts turn dark and bitter.

Those feelings then get projected onto our keepsakes.

Or onto a beloved hand made object.

A few years ago, I crocheted a gorgeous lace weight, beaded shawl to wear to a wedding.  It was wonderful, my first beaded shawl. A huge amount of work went in to it.

And in the interim years, things exploded.

And that's putting it mildly,

My shawl got shoved to the bottom of the pile, only surfacing when I needed to reorganize. I couldn't look at it without a spike of anxiety and sadness hitting me hard.

But I couldn't just toss it aside. And it felt wrong to sell something that I had worn before.

But then I also felt guilty because the shawl wasn't being used.

So, I finally decided that this shawl just wasn't supposed to stay with me. It needed to be passed on to someone who would be able to enjoy it.

So, I let it go.

And I found that as I washed and blocked it again, preparing it for its next caretaker, the feelings of resentment, anger, and regret were slowly fading. And they were replaced with happiness and peace.

And a little bit of excitement. Because I knew that the person that I chose to give this to would love it as much as I once had.

It was also a way for me to thank her for everything she's done for me recently.

So, goodbye, Effy. I can let you go with no turmoil in my heart and with a smile upon my face.

And since you're gone, this means that I can knit myself a different brown shawl now.

He Goes by Henry

I think it was sometime in the middle of last year that I first joked about selling my soul to a Wooly Demon patron. An offhand comment, made for a laugh.

The problem was an idea started forming. Just a little think tucked away in the back of my brain.

I started building it in my head.

If I really did have a demon patron, what would he look like? How did he get assigned to someone like me? What was his life like before?

And before I knew it, this character blossomed into life. He didn't have a name yet, but I knew what he looked like. So I sat down the other day and decided to finally get him out.

Meet Henrizaial Thurnard Gorthmyne IV, wooly demon patron of one knitter by the name of Ashtan. He goes by Henry, thank you very much. It's what his grandmama called him.

I ended up doing a full water color portrait of him.

I stayed up until nearly 5 am to finish him, but he was finally out of my head and in the world.

Satisfied, I went to bed.

But, like it always does, my brain came up with another idea.

Damnit.

So, a second Henry came about.

And he was cut out by hand using an exacto knife. By the way, HOLY CRAP, THAT KILLS YOUR HANDS!!!

Needed some other supplies to go with this project, including some very tiny crocheted flowers and small balls of yarn.

But the end result is exactly how I imagined in my head.

I need a better picture of it, but Henry is enclosed in a shadowbox now. He's hanging on our bedroom wall, guarding my stash.

I like to think of this as his Spring Look.

Which means that I have to make three more for the rest of the seasons...

Crap.

374

The number of days it has been since I started my blog.

Yes, I'm a little late on the anniversary post. Great Trails always tends to wipe me out.

Anyway, I'm not feeling over sentimental at the moment, so rather than some flowery speech about gratefulness and nostalgia, let's look at this from a pure numbers standpoint.

My very first post was on September 3rd, 2015. I ended up with 16 pageviews on it (half of which were probably my own before I figured out you could turn that off).

My posts for the first couple of months averaged around 20 pageviews per post, except for a few that did exceptionally well and averaged over 75.

Current posts receive around 30 - 50, effectively doubling my numbers.

By far, my best post was the one I made about Celestarium, which blew past all the averages and is sitting at 276 views.

My total pageviews (at the time of this writing) sit at 2,997.

My humble little blog has been read nearly three thousand times, a fact that is a little mind blowing.

From a project standpoint, I've gotten a heck of a lot more done than I realized.

Completed projects are as follows.

• Hats
• Blackberry Cobbler Hat
• As a note, this was my very first hat.
• Green Bean Hat
• Splattershot
• Deathflake Hat
• Ashwyn Beret
• Dried Flowers Hat
• My first self-designed hat.

• Gloves/Fingerless Mitts
• Leydon Mitts
• Maize
• Green Bay Fingerless Gloves
• Leafy Lace Mitts

• Amigurumi/Plushies
• Mini Mini Jaws
• Mandibles of Death
• Fox Doll
• Maxamillius Scampani the Shrimp
• Bulbsaur...with a Surprise!

• Cowls/Triangle Scarves
• Victorian Cowl
• Lace Edged Shawl
• Cabled Bandana Cowl

• Miscellaneous 
• Honey for Tea Cozy
• Mocha with Lavender Socks
• My very first socks!

• Shawls
• Dragon Scale
• Funkia
• Where I realized that I can actually do crazy things.
• Also, discovered talent of making giant-ass shawls
• Time Vi-Tex
• First shawl that I really branched out and cobbled together my own pattern.
• Passe-Partout
• Maori
• Golden Tree
• Celestarium
• You already know that this is my most precious of babies.
• Love Street
• My second shawl to be featured on the Ravelry pattern page.
• First shawl that I'm actually super excited/willing to knit a second time.

That brings us to a grand total of 28 knitting/crochet projects completed. Which feels like a goodly amount of stuff. Especially because that's not including all of my other creative endeavors. 

In my first blog, I also talk about my newest interest, book binding. I didn't realize at the time that it would quickly become my other go-to craft. Which means that I have yet another craft that I have to buy ALL OF THE SUPPLIES for.

Speaking of which, shall we take a look at all the yarn that I purchased in the past year?

Yeah, probably not. John would weep if he realized just how much of our income was sacrificed to the wooly gods.

I know I said I wasn't going to get sentimental, but I really do need to take a minute and talk about just what this blog has meant to me. In total, I wrote 51 posts, covering everything from yarn purchases, to mental illness struggles, to adventures we had. That averages out to almost one a week. I've tried several times in the past to commit to maintaining a blog and up until now, I've never succeeded. 

I've had times where I have struggled so hard to write something, anything, for a post. I had to fight to get it done, force myself in to not letting my mind get the best of me. I had to do a post. I had to keep going. I made a commitment, and I was going to stick to it. 

Did I backslide a couple of times? Of course. 

But the fact of the matter is that I did stick with it. And I'm damn proud of that fact.

This blog has become an extension of myself. A tool to help keep track of my life and my accomplishments. A reminder that I am capable of great things.

It has helped me to gain a sense of confidence and self-worth. Something that has already caused drastic, positive changes in my life.

It has helped me say thank you when spoken words have failed me. It has helped me say goodbye to loved ones. And it has helped me to truly learn who I am in my head and my heart.

So thank you, my dear readers, for your support, love, and comments. 

Here's to the next 374 days.